Hot Air Rising

Florida is under-siege by the latest tiresome reality TV craze – the GOP primary with it’s endless debates.  Newt, who’s platform is largely out of this world is focusing more and more on space travel and colonizing the moon.  Allow me to be the first to urge him to volunteer he and his lovely wife (no, make that his scary third wife), Calista to become the first colonists.  They could wear 3-cornered-hats and throw tea into craters for shits and giggles.  The best part is there’s always a ‘dark side’ of the moon, so Newt would forever feel at home.


Tonight is another one of the pointless debates with Newt Romney and Mitt Gingrich - (note: one is as interchangeably awful as the other) – tossing barbs at each other while Ron Paul blathers incoherently and Santorum brings all discussions back to sexual wedge issues.  This evening is the opportunity for the 4 freaks to rebut the President’s State of the Union Address.  They needed a day or so to absorb the 91% national approval rating of Obama’s ideas and accomplishments in order to fabricate new GOP distractions and nonsense.


Romney’s so out of touch his own feet don’t touch the ground as he continues to make astonishingly tone-deaf gaffs, boasting about his obscene wealth to Florida residents where 40% of all mortgages are underwater.   Mortgages notwithstanding, no one is discussing the very real possibility that Florida itself may well be physically under water within the next 20 years, but climate-change doesn’t play well among the GOP.  That said, Newt Gingrich is on record as being a true-believer in global warming.  Not to worry though, he can bullshit himself out of any corner.  Perhaps ‘climate change’ is why he wants to relocate to the moon?  I’d like him to relocate to the moon too.  Other moon settlers might be Ron Paul and family, Rick Santorum and his Cool-Aid crowd – and Mitt Romney who could finally realize his family history dream of posessing a harem in peace.


Hot air balloons are considered historically to be the first form of aeronautical space travel.  The first hot-air balloon launched in America was done so in Philadelphia, and witnessed by George Washington in 1793.  It was launched 3 blocks from my little house in Washington Square.  There’s a little plaque on the site – or at least there WAS…  A sapling that traveled to the moon in the Gemini III capsule was planted on the spot where that historic hot-air balloon was launched — but tourists thought it would be nice to snap-off a twig as a souvenir or carve their initials on a tree that had gone where few men had gone before.  Eventually the poor tree died.  If we’re all lucky, the 2012 GOP candidates will also travel to the moon so we can eventually put-up an memorial to them too.  Bon voyage.

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