Duck D. Duck Testifies Before Parlament

Duck D. Duck’s shocking testimony in front of Parliament in the ‘News of the World’ scandal has Rupert Murdock feigning further acts of senility.  The question on everyone’s mind, is will this hurt Ms. Duck’s American presidential chances as the Long Island Ice Tea Party frontrunner?

Ms. Duck, who was stunning, donned an original Bob Mackie ensemble borrowed from actress Joan Collins who wore it in court when testifying about who shot J.R Ewing.

Attorney, W.P. Jumpingbean, Esq.

According to candidate Duck’s lawyer and campaign manager, Winifred P. Jumpingbean, “Duck D. Duck is comfortable with her transgressions on either side of the pond, and is certain she will be cleared of any wrong-doing.”  Murdock’s media giant, POX News is reportedly responsible for hacking Ms. Duck cell phone to release unauthorized photographs of her urodaeum to the tabloids through dimwit blogger, Andrew Notsobreitbart.

The release of that photo and the hacking techniques used to acquire it may well lead to a ‘domino’ effect resulting in political implications that cause the entire downfall of all Rupert Murdock’s minions, and coconspirators — coconspirators such as the Koch Brothers and the knuckleheads in the GOP leadership of the American House of Misrepresentatives.  Further ramifications might result in Grover Norquist (not to be mistaken for Wilford Brimley) to admit he is far more taxing than any of his bogus politically-motivated tax blackmail documents.  Ms. Duck allegedly signed Grover Norquist’s ‘No New Taxes on the Wealthy Blackmail Pledge’ in invisible ink.

Duck D. Duck facing the glare of the media.


As those dominoes fall one can only hope it takes down the entire POX News, Misinformation of the World Network.  Suspected dominoes are Karl Rove, Jim Dement, Rick Sanitarium, John Boner, Eric DeCanter, Bitch McConnell, Bitchelle Mockman, Para Sailin’, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, Scotland Yard and British Prime Minister Gordon Brown.  This might suck the wind out of such POX talking heads as Sean Insanity, Bill Oh’Really? and Mount Rushbaugh.  That said, earlier casualty, Glenn Beck in unrelated developments went down on himself, causing his own pitiful disappearing act.

At the hand of POX News/Misinformation of the World, the public has endured numerous bogus “factoids,” as the manipulation of politicians and the Supreme Court in the pocket of the Koch Brothers (through “Citizens United’) and an unregulated Wall Street blatantly ran amok.  Sadly, an alarming number of gullible citizens drink blindly from the poisonous well of these skillfully crafted lies spun by the tentacles of Rupert Murdock‘s news machine.  The motto of ‘Unfair and Unbalanced’ which has come to define Mr. Murdock’s empire supplies people with what they want to hear if they’re predisposed to certain prejudices and fears.  Truth be damned.

Spokesperson, Winifred P. Jumpingbean quoted her humble typist, Beihl as saying, “If I cared about money, I’d be on Wall Street and not Tobacco Road – either way – they’ll both kill ‘ya.  Its survival of the fattest.  Poor people eat fattening food to survive.  Fat cats eat poor people’s food and call it cassolette.”  Honor matters.

Dissociated Press, 7/21/11

6 thoughts on “Duck D. Duck Testifies Before Parlament

  1. Hmm, fat cats. not sure if that prejudicial term is PC around here, but anyway,,,,
    I was wondering, Ms. Duck's attornery, Winnifred P Jumpingbean, a womans name, is addressed as "she' or "her" but always appears in mens clothing. Are we being given a hidden message here? What exactly is the relationship between Ms Jumpingbean and Ms Duck? And what does her initial, P stand for? Inquiring mindless want to know!
    As I watch the unfolding dramady of Murdoch's downfall (which I hope to see continue) I have to wonder about the foolishness of a corporate CEO saying he has no clue what is happening in his organization. That is almost as pathetic as "Teflon Ron" and his 'plausible denyability' stance on Iran/Contra or "Contragate" or the other failings of ethics his cast and crew committed. The captain of the ship is always ultimately responsible for what happens. The Great Obfuscater is no exception. History will ultimately reveal that Reagan was a senile old criminal just playing the role of President. poorly. (he always was a lousy actor)
    Meanwhile, Act II on his play ran for 8 years in the Oval Office, and they are trying for an encore.
    So, in the spirit(s) of the Long Island Iced Tea Party, I would like to nominate the Ghost of Shadow as the Candidate for the Blue Glow party. The medium, Puck Von Longtail, (image to follow) says Shadow, from the other side, sees the real truth, that we would all be so much happier and healthier with roads paved with nuclear reactor waste material. These streets would be self-lighting which will help reduce crime. It will also provide thousands of jobs to do the paving work, and save municipalities thousands in electric costs from lighting the streets. Police forces could be reduced. And Yucca Mountain, or any other storage facility would no longer be needed, freeing up BILLIONS of federal dollars to fund further off-shore drilling facilities. Again, more jobs created.
    Campaign contributions may be made via the NRC, Washington DC.

  2. Both Winne and Duck are technically female, but do not commit to any specific gender – but rather fall into whatever costuming is necessary to get the point across. They deny all rumors about any sort of improper relationship. Although if given the chance, Winnie would no doubt chase Miss Duck.

    I too am savoring this 'Watergate' moment for Rupert and his minions. Love the glowing street idea. It might also cut-down on human fertility, which would solve a "world" of problems.

    I knew shadoe wasn't really gone – just to another plane. Hope you're OK>

  3. Beihl:
    Doing better for the time being, got the emotional rollercoaster stopped.

    We need to downplay the fertility angle on the glowing streets lest we alienate the Ratpublican't voter base, as that smacks too much of birth control. Remember the Ratpublican't credo, life begins at conception and ends at birth.

    Shadow decided it was time to have a candidate from the afterlife since the past is littered with folks voting from beyond the grave, and they feel poorly represented.

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