Rick Santorum Checking Into Bachmann Clinic

According to anonymous sources (my friend Paul) Rick Sanitarium, the vehemently anti-gay Tea Party presidential hopeful and former Republican’t senator from Pennsylvania is doing more than opening his mouth to change feet these days.  For those of us living in Pennsylvania who were exposed daily to his cock-sucking stupidity are finally getting to see his technique at work.

Sanitarium went down so voraciously on that chocolate shaft of creamy deliciousness, that his political advisers have made arrangements for him to do a stint in Herr Dockor Marcussss Bachmann’s concentration camp, (ahem) I mean ‘CLINIC’ to pray away the gay.  Mr Sanitarium will be taught to “lick” his ice cream as opposed to going “down” on it.

Dr. Bachmann, who specializes in teaching victim/patients how to pronounce the word “barbarianssszzz” with a Castilian lisp, will need to spend extra long hours “preforming” special “therapy” on former Senator Sanitarium.  The Bachmann Clinic which is currently overflowing with near suicidal ex-gays will have to make a bed available for their new high-profile deviant.  When asked about the shortage of beds at the Bachmann Clinic, Dr. Bachmann assured the press that even if no beds are available, there is plenty of closet space.

- Dissociated Press, 7/24/11

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