Color Contrasts

The Humane Society’s Wayne Pacelle showing-off both his colors and his recent sex-change to be closer to his prized crush, #7 Michael Vick.
Is a white person a racist if the individual they most admire in this world and the person they least admire both happen to be black? Living in Philadelphia, Michael Vick divided our city into 2 factions: Pro and con Michael Vick. When you’re anti-Vick, you’re accused of racism when more often than not it’s the other way around.
Disassociated Press Sports Analyst Winifred P. Jumpingbean.
White Vick supporters merely want to see the Eagles win the Superbowl – but that doesn’t preclude racial prejudice from happening on other levels. “Look at that N-word run” I recall a white sports fan once saying at a football TV party a while back.  You don’t hear that language from anti-Vick protestors. Animal rights advocates are upset with Vick’s unrepentant actions and not his athletic talent or lack there-of.
Good lord I don’t even know what words I’m supposed to use… ‘People of color’ is an accepted term in usage these days, while ‘colored people’ is not. ‘Black’ was the proper term for a while, but now it’s out of favor. I can’t think of anyone who is literally black any more than I can think of anyone who’s literally white. White people are sort of a variety of beige-shades with some pink and olive tones. Black people are a variety of brown-umber, ochers and Sienna. Don’t question me on this – I’m a trained portrait painter.
We don’t call white people ‘European Americans’, but we do call people ‘African Americans’ even if we’re unclear about their ancestral origin. ‘Native Americans’ don’t want to be called ‘Native Americans’ because they were here WAY before the continents were named after Amerigo Vespucci – and the term ‘Indian’ is geographically off the map and a misnomer at best. Call me naive, but I’m not sure why we need to call anyone anything other than ‘fellow-man’ – but that pisses of the feminists.  So as usual, no one is happy.

‘Negro’ was a respectful term when I was a young man growing-up, but times have changed. That said, I never thought of myself as Caucasian, while that is, technically-speaking the anthropological name for my racial subdivision. My ethnic background is Scottish, English, Irish, Welsh and German. My ancestors were mostly Quaker, (the religious sect who goaded 19th century America into abolishing slavery) while declining on religious grounds from participating in the Civil War itself – aside from offering medical care and safe refuge for runaway slaves. Neither war nor violence are ever a good idea, but the rest of the planet hasn’t yet come-up to speed where that concept is concerned. The least intelligent among us are generally speaking, the most violent – and dysfunctional individuals will drag-down functional people every-time.
The world at large has always been delighted with violence just so long as it isn’t happening to them personally. People pay good money at the movies to see actresses slashed, tortured and murdered – albeit through special effects – somehow it titillates the un-evolved in society striking a primal chord that lurks just below the surface even in the most presentable-looking people. I haven’t the patience to watch violent movies any more than I have patience for real violence or derogatory racial references. I also have no patience for Tea Party constituents erupting into thunderous applause when they hear a certain monosyllabic Texas governor speaking about his dubious distinction for holding the highest number of death-row inmates executed – largely black.
Most of America settles for football to quench their appetite for violence. Thankfully most people don’t have access to a conveniently located neighborhood dog-fighting ring – so football will have to do. Football is a distant relative of Colosseum blood-sports where broken bones and long-term brain injury now rewards gladiators with lucrative product endorsements and a lifetime full of memories they can’t seem to quite recall. I suppose it’s progress of a sort when compared to the thumbs-up / thumbs-down approach of ancient Rome…
In my humble opinion the 2 stupidest things in the entire world are football and fashion. Both are an insult to my intelligence. While fashion seriously harms the self-esteem of young women and grants celebrity status to vapid subhumans like Anna Wintour – football is like watching violent blood dry – boring as shit and totally meaningless. Every moment wasted following football or fashion is unproductive lost time you will never regain.

Eagles quarterback, Michael Vick is an unrepentant sociopath not worth the air he breathes or the food he eats – and he certainly isn’t worth his shiny new “salary.” Michael Vick utterly failed to live-up to ANY of the public-service works he was entrusted to do when his legal team slimed their way into the court system preventing Vick from doing any real time for animal cruelty (a well deserved 10 year sentence) in favor of a lesser ‘racketeering’ charge (a light 2 year sentence with parole.) Vick never did time for his crimes if you really pay attention to the nuances of the case.

Flash-forward – supposedly “rehabilitated’ and a scandal or two later, including a suspicious nightclub shooting – Michael Vick now “earns” a ONE HUNDRED MILLION DOLLAR A YEAR SALARY simply to throw and catch a ridiculous football and knock people down. That doesn’t include his lucrative product endorsements for Nike – a company with a long and disgraceful record of selling consumers affordable sporting goods made by child-slave-labor in 3rd world countries.The president of the United States by comparison earns a mere $400,000 a year – to put it more clearly – Michael Vick earns 250 times MORE than the leader of the free world BEFORE Nike product endorsements – while teachers, police and firefighters are depicted as villainous for trying to earn a living wage.   

Barack Obama is my personal hero in spite of his words of encouragement to scumbag Jeffrey Lurie for hiring Vick right out of prison in a deal cheered-along by perennial looser, Andy Reid. On the other hand, Barack Obama is a man of Ghandi-like patience and more wisdom than any of the halfwits he’s forced to interact with in Congress.  Americans are disappointed in Obama because we’re collectively impatient and want to see him get angry – as if anger is going to turn things around any faster…  Americans understand “anger” – what they don’t understand is patience, diplomacy and governing from center-left. 

Meanwhile as the president is trying to create jobs by raising taxes on the uber-wealthy, Michael Vick will benefit this year from the Bush era tax-breaks for the 2% wealthiest people in America. What is wrong with this picture…?  I see two men of color standing a spectrum-apart in a world where destructive behavior is rewarded and integrity is ignored if not blatantly punished.

In summation, I hope the world outgrows football.  Face it, it’s a one hour game with four 15 minute quarters that can last up to 3 or more mind-boggling hours including commercials and bloated talking heads blathering-on with post-game “analysis”  Snore…  Face it – the secret’s out –  football is boring as hell. It doesn’t hold the interest of the intelligent people I know – so by admitting you like football is akin to confessing personal pride over not being very bright and lacking imagination.
I was once getting my haircut in a black owned barbershop when a belligerent black customer woke-me-up out of a sound sleep to ask me a question.  Still groggy during my hair-cutting nap I was grilled by the strange inquisitor with the following question: “Yo white boy, you give me two reasons why the races should blend?!!!”  I said “Hally Berry and Beyonce.”  The place cracked-up and he left all in a huff.  Unfortunately there are black racists too.   Admittedly I believe the world would be a better place if all the races were blended. God knows white Anglo-Saxon protestants need an infusion of new blood – we’re all as nervous and crazy as Amish puppy-mill Brittany Spaniels. 

I’m reminded of Martin Luther King’s immortal words spoken when I was a just a kid – I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.”  There is no worthwhile content to Michael Vick’s character such as it is. He is in every meaningful way, a failure, even if he does earn 250 times as much as his better: The President of the United States of America.So now Michael Vick is injured and spitting-up blood.  At least he has health care and $100,000,000 to keep him warm.  

- Winifred P. Jimpingbean, Dissociated Press, 9/19/11



6 thoughts on “Color Contrasts

  1. two things…

    1) on football: what a ridiculous game. there's less than 30 seconds of action followed by 15 minutes of standing around, talking about it. what a bore.

    2) the term "african-american": my typist went to high school with a true african-american, that is a person who was born and raised in africa, then became a u.s. citizen. she was a white jew from south africa. not exactly what you picture when someone says "african-american", yet she fits the true definition. the phrase needs work.

  2. Oh where to begin, where oh where.

    Football, well, Duck hit that nail on the head. Worthless game played by overpriced morons to amuse impoverished morons, (the GOP Base)

    "Native Americans" – This from a Flathead Tribe native -"Don't give me that native American crap, I am an Indian" and from a White Mountain Apache "When Columbus landed in North America, he declared the natives 'En Deo' or 'With God' meaning a sacred, untouched people. Contrary to popular belief, he did not name us 'Indians' because he thought he was in India. He knew he had not reached there, and the natives of India at the time were called 'Hindi' not 'Indians.' Indian is the Anglicization of 'En Deo' so 'Indian' means 'With God', as such, I am an Indian, not a f$O#'ing Native American. Besides, anyone who's lived in a land more than 7 generations is "native" to that land."
    So can we stop the false PC of "Native American" or African American" or any other misleading label? That includes the rather inaccurately limited "Latin American" My ancestors are French, a Latin People. They settled in Canada in the 16th Century, and married the local Indian people. By definition, this makes ME a "Latin American, monsieur, and I do not speak ANY meaningful amount of Spanish. Je parler Français un petit peut. (Google translate if you don't get it)
    Think that covers both the white/black nomenclature PC crap and the Indian one, so:
    Michael Vick. I have difficulty with this, because I believe in being kind to animals, but animals of this form coming so close to insidious vermin and pestilence, hard to be kind. He is NOT a human being, but, since he is unicellular and not a plant, he must be an animal. But that is stretching the definition some.
    That this beast makes 250 times what the leader if the free world makes is a disgusting comment on 21st Century America. Our priorities are truly F$#)ed. While I feel that the desire to improve the lives of Americans, to protect and lead this great land should be the guiding reason to run for office, not a fat paycheck, I feel that they should make commensurate with the CEO of a mid-range company. Sports jerks should be paid minimum wage. They are, after all, just playing a damn game. I don't waste my time wondering whether Vick (or Joe Namath or Muhammad Ali or José Canseco) is wearing Boxers, Nike, Reebok or whatever, or eating Wheaties or Cheerios, Pepsi or Coke (or DOING Coke). I make my own product decisions, rather than relying on the paid endorsement of a brain damages sports "star" Besides, there are more important reasons to avoid Nike, health reasons to avoid most boxed cereal and ALL sodas.
    In conclusion, as you put it, Beihl
    "So now Michael Vick is injured and spitting-up blood. "
    To which I respond, "So what? May he get the GOP proposal health care package – don't get sick, and if you do, please die and decrease this surplus population." He is such a waste of skin, what difference is it which color skin he is wasting?

  3. To Winnie, Beihl, Duck & Mark:

    Kudos! Excellent "rants." I'm no longer up to adding my own "rants" to this idiocy we call "politics" in the U.S.A. I'm powerless over people, places & things. But I do know when someone, or sometwo or somethree, "hits the nail squarely on the head" or "knocks one right out of the park." P.S.: As a spectator sport, I much prefer basketball, esp. college men & women's b-ball. That said, I believe the comments about over-paid NFL "stars" applies equally to over-paid NBA "stars." Keep the faith. Obama in 2012! Tax reform Now!

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