CPAC–Not to be confused with a ZPAC. The first one makes you sick.

CPACdiseaseGutCheckIf today’s WinnieToon is short on substance, it’s because it’s about CPAC, or the Conservative Political Action Conference. Where conservative is not to be confused with conservation. Politics are polluted. Action means inaction. And conference refers to the inability to communicate coherent thought.

There was no reason to even prepare new graphics for this year’s CPAC post. Nothing has changed other than the attendance of New Jersey Ann-Coulter-Hands-cropped-proto-custom_28Governor, Chris Christie–who is now officially corrupt enough to be considered a Republican with a capitol “R”.

You didn’t hear Ann Coulter singing Chris Christie’s praises this year, but if you were in attendance, you had the misfortune of seeing Ann Coulter telling her customary tall tails and confabulations. There’s nothing to report on what Coulter had to say. She’s just mean and prone to getting her hair tangled up in high voltage power lines. That’s when she gets her best ideas.

Palincpac13Sarah Palin spoke at CPAC, taking a page from Ted Cruz’ failed reading of Dr. Seuss and failing in her own inimitable way. The most substantive thing she had to say was her defense of the mental midgets on the “reality” show, Duck Dynasty. Duck Die-nasty’s primary blatherer is a nitwit named Phil Robertson who, in line with Republican’t philosophy believes that discrimination against fellow citizens is a god-given right to be wrong.


Did I say that Sarah Palin was Bachmanncpac13inimitable? I was wrong. I admit to having overlooked Michele Bachmann who out stupid’s the dimmest bulbs in the GOP. Michele’s message was the stupefying belief that the Tea Party is an intellectual movement. Michele didn’t say a word about the alleged ethics violations that have her not running for reelection in the next term due to what we understand to be the supposed misuse of campaign funds. Lets face it–funding anything to do with Michele Bachmann is money poorly spent.

CriZcpac13Ted Cruz spoke at CPAC garnering applause lines for comments about government spending–much of which would actually de-fund CPAC and a number of other “conservative” causes. Sometimes I wonder if we all wouldn’t be better served if Ted Cruz were given full range to run amok however he pleases. He’s bound and determined to be his own undoing as he does his best Joseph McCarthy impersonation, and taking the worst of the right wing down with him.


RUBIOcpac13Marco Rubio kicked off the convention with nothing new. He, like Ted Cruz wants to cash in on his Latino heritage while hoping no one notices he’s Latino. Much of his “small government” message was devoted to the concept that the United States should be promoting democracy across the globe. Translation: Don’t tell us Americans what to do, just let us run around like beheaded chickens while telling the rest of the world how to govern themselves.



The point of CPAC (if in fact there is one) culminates with the CPAC “Straw Poll” where straws are drawn (if you will) and the most incompetent and deranged political operatives are culled down to who is craziest. The most insane and unelectable whack-a-doodle is then groomed to begin confusing the gullible in Iowa and New Hampshire to become the next Republican presidential candidate. This year Rand Paul won. No big surprises there. The big surprise would come only if the nation is delirious enough to actually elect him president–at which time the entire country will collapse into warring feudal states. And so it goes. All you need to know, dear reader, is nothing important happened at CPAC–again.

Disassociated Press, 3/11/2014

2 thoughts on “CPAC–Not to be confused with a ZPAC. The first one makes you sick.

  1. CPAC must somehow be a code for Syrup of Ipecac. These yahoo’s make me want to hurl.
    I see, too, that Bitch McTurtleneck says that the “traditional Republican’s” must destroy the Tea Party in the elections, which should so fragment the GOP as to ensure they couldn’t elect a duck as dinner. For which, we will have plenty to be thankful to the Tea Party for, when that happens. Should be a shoe-in for the Democrats this year. (Not that I would want to dissuade any lefties from voting, we don’t want to fall to apathy again, like 2010)
    Thanks for this years write-up, Beihl, keep the wit and wisdom coming!

    • The midterms are going to be essential to getting this country back on track and putting the GOP crazies in their place. The single best way for progressives to ruin our progress would be apathy at the polls during national midterm elections. 2010 should (hopefully) have taught that lesson.

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