Vladimir Putin Declared 2013’s International Closet Queen Award–WinnieToons Year End Review

Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin riIn 2013 Vladimir Putin set back human rights by decades when he instituted anti-gay laws in Russia that have resulted in LGBT people becoming the victims of increased violence and hate crimes. Apparently Vlad is trying to garner approval with the Russian Orthodox Church by taking a page of out the Fascist German handbook. Fools are now spray-painting tags on the homes of gay Russians much the same way Nazi’s put anti-Jewish graffiti on the homes of Jews in the days leading up to World War II. Meanwhile Putin doesn’t see anything even slightly gay about his forever running around posing shirtless.

942323_10152961836655297_79123301_n

Antonin Scalia delivered his descent and disapproval of the Supreme Court upholding gay marriage and striking down California’s Prop 8. He’s under the confused illusion that he’s doing his job.

149721065_blog_main_horizontal

In 2013, Congress got even less done than previous years–which is almost impossible to wrap one’s mind around. Out of 365 days in a year, Congress only put in 126 “work” days if you want to kid yourself into believeing they work at all–proving if you want a job where you get paid a huge salary for being consistently wrong, you either have to go into meteorology or run for Congress.

A WayneLapierreSkeetLauncher

Mass gun violence and murders became more and more commonplace in 2013. Over 10,000 people died in 2013 from gun related violence since the massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary School in December of 2012–and Congress does nothing (but pander to the NRA).

GS996Color 19

We get to say goodbye to Michele Bachmann as she steps down as the US Representative from Minnesota’s 6th Congressional District in an atmosphere of campaign fraud and corruption. Saints be praised.

Closed Nationa Parks

The Pee Tardy–or Tea Party if you prefer brought the government to the brink of default repeatedly for shits and giggles.

CruzControl

Rafael Edwardo Cruz turned his back on his Hispanic heritage while continuing to block all government business merely to raise his own profile–including blocking immigration reform.

CWinnie&DuckExplain football

Well DUH…!!! It turns out that medical research in 2013 proved that repeated concussions endured by professional football players results in increased violence in their personal lives and even suicide.

So even as football has proven to be the sport of choice for people who enjoy watching other people incur brain injuries--the football coaches took the top spot for the highest paid public sector employees.

So even as football has proven to be the sport of choice for people who enjoy watching other people incur brain injuries–football coaches took the top ranking spot for the nation’s highest paid public sector employees.

DarrylIssaBiblicaDisgrace

The most corrupt career politician in the House of Representatives tried tirelessly to fabricate scandals in an attempt to tarnish the Obama Administration and the Affordable Healthcare Act (among other issues). He couldn’t be more unpatriotic if he was a paid plant taking orders from al-Qa’ida.

To reiterate, hateful is as hateful does. Darrel Issa tried to blame the 'Fast and Furious guns and drugs scandal on Attorney General Eric Holder. But it turned out it was Holder himself who exposed and busted the scandalous Bush era program.

To reiterate, hateful is as hateful does. Darrel Issa tried to blame the ‘Fast and Furious guns and drugs scandal on Attorney General Eric Holder. But it turned out it was Holder himself who exposed and busted the scandalous Bush era program.

DrunkSexting

Anthony Weiner (A.K.A “Carlos Danger”) made a failed bid to be New York City’s mayor while continuing to “sext.”

Duck In Memorium

The real Duck D. Duck (on whom the character in this blog is based) passed away of natural causes. She will be missed, but she will live on in WinnieToons.

DuckDogWeddingCaptioned

Seventeen states plus the District of Columbia now recognize gay marriage, and legally married LGBT people can take full advantage of their marital status when filing in 2014 for 2013’s taxes–but that still leaves thirty-three states where gay marriage is illegal on the state level.

DuckMiddelton

A new British royal was born. Now will everyone leave them alone. Please.

FirstTimeAtChristianMingle

There remain people out there who believe in the myth of ‘Creationism’ and their claim that dinosaurs and man once lived together in harmony. Meanwhile those same folks are blissfully unaware of how climate change continues to be exacerbated by corporations–and the politicians who they keep in their corporate pockets. It was 72 degrees here in Philadelphia on December 21st, five days before the official start of winter. But man and dinosaur were once chummy. Yeah, right.

649-01755343

The nitwits in the Tea Party along with other extreme conservatives keep trying to further crash the economy. A two year budget was reached that no one likes–especially the people who will now go hungry while the rich get richer.

fort-knox2b

No one had any money in 2013 except for the top 2%. Even as the stock market soars, none of that wealth “tinkles down” to the average American.

PopeGivesUp Papacy4Lent

We will all miss Pope Benny’s delightful antics–from sexual abuse scandal cover-ups to shady financial dealings with the Cosa Nostra. But he did know how to wear clothes.

Fried brains

The faithful elected a new Pope. As Popes go, he’s kinda groovy.

GassyDog&Duck

Bashar Hafez al-Assad, President of Syria, exterminated thousands of his own people with sarin gas attacks. President Obama played him like a violin–(in the face of conservative criticism) and that situation is now vastly improved, but Assad has still got to go.

Zimmerman in Jeopardy

George Zimmerman couldn’t stand being out of the spotlight or out of trouble, so after getting away with murdering sixteen year old, innocent Trayvon Martin–Zimmerman proceeded to have multiple arrests including more domestic violence charges. his gun was FINALLY taken away. What a macaroon.

letsTalk aboutRace

Race and ethnic diversity continued to be a sore spot in America in 2013 from “stand your ground” laws to whether or not Santa Clause can (or might be) black. America needs to grow up.

MissAtomicBombFinal copy

Kim Jong Un, proving that rotten apples don’t fall far from the tree, executed a number of failed nuclear bomb tests. He also executed his own uncle on trumped-up charges–shortly after executing his wife and some of her associates for an alleged pornography ring. Whatever. He should marry Dennis Rodman, whe looks great in a wedding gown.

Rand Paul

Rand Paul saw an old Jimmy Stewart movie, and it gave him “wind.” A long wind to be precise. Idiot that he is, at least he drew attention to the moral issue of drone strikes. Now we’re expected to get our online Amazon purchases delivered by drones. Perfect–let’s put even more people out of work. Sigh….

Obama responsibility

The Affordable Healthcare Act was launched with what can only be described as a thud of confusion–but alas, I am finally enrolled in a healthcare exchange after going for a prolonged period without coverage. So I’m happy.

OutFest

LGBT rights were a reoccurring theme in 2013. LEBT people are all colors, all faiths and all nationalities. The LGBT community holds the undisputed title of being the worlds longest continually persecuted minority. And put your shirt back on Putin.

Talk to the hand Cruz

Since everyone saw “Mister Smith Goes to Washington” this year on NetFlicks–Rafael Edwardo Cruz held a “faux” filibuster by reading Dr. Seuss to the cameras well into the evening–proving nothing.

Tampons away

In 2013 Wendy Davis held a REAL filibuster over women’s reproductive rights in the Texas assembly. If Texas is smart, she’ll be their next governor.

Wendy Davis brought a breath of fresh air to Texas in the form of common sense.

Wendy Davis brought a breath of fresh air to Texas in the form of common sense.

Detroit went bankrupt in 2013, and all of Michigan has been stolen by Governor Rick Snyder.

Detroit went bankrupt in 2013, and all of Michigan has been stolen by Governor Rick Snyder.

New Jersey Governonr Chris Christie had his stomach stapled, which must mean he's running for president in 2016 if local Jersey political scandals don't get him first.

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie had his stomach stapled, which must mean he’s running for president in 2016–that is if local Jersey political scandals don’t get him first.

"The Donald" faces hefty fines and legal action from the State of New York for a bogus university to which he lent his name as part of a scam to part the foolish from their money. Graduates got to pose for a photo-op with a cardboard cutout of the megalomaniac himself.

“The Donald” faced hefty fines in 2013 and legal action from the State of New York over a bogus university to which he lent his name as part of a scam to part the foolish from their money. Graduates got to pose for a photo-op with a cardboard cutout of the megalomaniac himself.

Privacy was officially declared dead in 2013. Although privacy had actually died years earlier, it wasn't until Edward Snowden "outed" the NSA that it became official. He's living now in Russia where freedom and privacy are merely abstract concepts.

Privacy was officially declared dead in 2013. Although privacy had actually died years earlier, it wasn’t until Edward Snowden “outed” the NSA that it became official. He’s living now in Russia where freedom and privacy are merely abstract concepts.

The world lost a towering and inspirational figure when Nelson Mandela passed away--but all Fox News could focus on was a harmless handshake between Barack Obama and Cuban president, Raul Castro. It's about priorities folks. It's about priorities.

The world lost a towering and inspirational figure when Nelson Mandela passed away–but all Fox News could focus on was a harmless handshake between Barack Obama and Cuban president, Raul Castro. It’s about priorities folks. It’s about priorities.

Adding insult to injury, while the world grieved the loss of Nelson Mandela, a schizophrenic pretended to be a sign language interpreter standing only a matter of feet away from the most important international heads of state. If you hadn't already guessed--he wasn't signing anything anyone could understand.

Adding insult to injury, while the world grieved the loss of Nelson Mandela, a schizophrenic man pretended to be a sign language interpreter–standing only a matter of feet away from the most important international heads of state. If you hadn’t already guessed–he wasn’t signing anything anyone could understand.

For some mysterious reason, Zsa Zsa Gabor is still alive--and Dick Cheney cost taxpayers billions of dollars to be kept artificially alive until the heart of a suitable victim could be located. Talk about a plumb healthcare exchange. And yes, only the good die young.

For some mysterious reason, Zsa Zsa Gabor is still alive. And Dick Cheney cost American taxpayers billions of dollars to be kept artificially alive until the heart of a suitable victim could be located and installed behind his breastbone. Talk about a plumb healthcare exchange. And yes, only the good die young.

As we bid 2013 a fond but bewilder goodbye--Winnie and Duck have every confidence that 2014 will be every bit as fucked up. And the world goes 'round and 'round....

As we bid 2013 a fond but bewildered goodbye–Winnie and Duck have every confidence that 2014 will be every bit as f**ked up. And the world goes ’round and ’round and ’round….

– Disassociated Press. 12/25/2013

4 thoughts on “Vladimir Putin Declared 2013’s International Closet Queen Award–WinnieToons Year End Review

  1. And yet another year of political embarrassment of the US whimpers to a close. What a ducked up year it has been. If we cannot throw off the yoke of GOP Oppression at the polls in 2014, I don’t think the concept of America as a land of freedom, of opportunity, will end. I live in despair for the land I knew in my youth where you could grow up (mainly) with opportunity ahead, where what you did mattered more than what you looked like withered and died somewhere in the greed of the late 80’s, all of the 90’s and the fuster cluck that was the Bush II administration. Goddess help us all in the next few years, to climb back to the road we were (most definitely past tense, there) on not so long ago.

    • Mark – I hate to face the fact that the American public is belligerently stupid and goddamn proud of it. But it’s true. It’s the primary tool the GO-Pee Party uses to manipulate the confused into voting counter the their own best interests. It’ll probably never change.

  2. Beihl, I have to admit it but “belligerently stupid and goddamn proud of it.” is the perfect description of what passes for patriotism in America.
    I am very sad lately as my last vestiges of patriotism has collapsed. I no longer support our troops, nor am I teaching my son to trust cops. Our men and women in uniform at both the local and national level have become a severe embarrassment. Our decade of war has lowered the standards on military service so far that the criminals and thugs have taken over, while the police departments of the nation have been militarized to combat a fraudulent “war on drugs” and to serve their role in the equally ridiculous “war on terror”. Can you REALLY have a war on an emotion?
    I think that we have gone so far with the obstructionism and division of the Right that there is no cure, no going back for America, and we need to split into two nations. Let one have their Christian Nation crap, their voter suppression, income inequality and pride in their stupidity. We can form a nation that cares for each other, works together, and sees each other as PEOPLE instead of business liabilities. The old concept of America is as dead as Ronald Reagan, or of Rush Limbaugh’s ethics.

    • We are truly in a sorrowful state of affairs. And both with the military and law enforcement, there has always been a blurred line where those institutions meet the criminal element. It’s nothing new–it merely worse than ever.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>