Don’t You Go Making Me Channel My Inner Black Woman Again!

I’m sorry if this offends anyone, but there are times when the world needs to be told off by a black woman. If you don’t agree with me, take it up with your local black woman. If you don’t have access to a black woman to take it up with—or one who is skilled at telling you where your train gets-off, then you seriously need to make that connection. Of course I live in a world where my fantasies include Rush Limbaugh being ball-gagged and lashed to a pillar while Wanda Sykes circles him slowly, building momentum at her own pace.

But back to the news at hand: No one in their right mind heckles Michelle Obama—if for no other reason than shutting-up because you might learn something. Michelle Obama was right to challenge her heckler for the floor. She knew that anyone pulling that kind of cheap stunt is a one trick pony who could never muster a memorable retort off the cuff. And it had to be a butch lesbian on the verge of a midlife crisis pulling this shit—over gay rights? Seriously? This administration has done more to advance LGBT rights than all the administrations from the combined two hundred and thirty seven years since the American Revolution. So sit down and shut up Ellen Squirts, your fifteen minutes of poor judgment and outcry for attention is up. Period.

Generally speaking I’m a big fan of women, and I don’t like calling out a fellow LGBT baby-boomer, but heckling the First Lady, no matter who it is diminishes a person’s credibility. As in “don’t enter into a battle of wits unarmed.” AND don’t try and drag the rest of the gay community with you—because there are a lot of queens out there including me—who you don’t want to tangle with once we start channeling our inner black woman. Don’t go thinking I don’t have an inner black woman tucked-in with the rest of my personalities, because I do. Deep down inside each and every gay man there lives a black women wearing sequins crying-out to be set free. And my inner black woman tells me there are times to speak-out, and there are times to show respect, but there’s never a good time to make a fool of yourself. Let me put it to you this way, Ellen: You don’t think equality is happening fast enough to suit you, and you were telling that to a black woman. Stop and reflect on the reality.

Disassociated Press, 6/6/2013

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7 thoughts on “Don’t You Go Making Me Channel My Inner Black Woman Again!

  1. Ah Bill, let your inner black woman loose, and teach that woman heckling Michelle where to get out. It is the height of disrespect to heckle. It doesn’t matter if you are a part of an oppressed group, or merely THINK you are (Christians, I’m looking at you here!) you DON’T have the right to attack the First Lady. Especially when it’s the First Lady whose husband has done more to end the oppression of your group than ALL his predecessors. NO group gains equality over night. This is going to be a long drawn out fight, that has just begun. Maybe someday, we can also work to get equality for atheists, pagans, Muslims, and all the other Non-Christian denominations, without the Christians whining that this takes away their religious liberty.

    • Maybe someday people will come to their senses and loose interest in organized religion completely so we can live in a world at peace.

      • I have no problem with people being religious, so long as they keep it to themselves. Be Christian, Muslim, Hindi, Flying Spaghetti Monsterian, whatever, so long as you don’t make YOUR religion MY problem. And can someone PLEASE clue the Christians in that threatening atheists and pagans with Hell is like a Trekker threatening a sensible person with a phaser? Your fantasy doesn’t frighten me! (But it IS funny)

        • I will NOT have you talkin’ trash about the holy order of Flying Spaghetti Monsterians. World without end, amen.

          • It’s “World without End; RAMEN” You heratic! I have full respect for the Flying Spaghetti Monster, may you be blessed by his noodley appendage.

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