I Fought My Weight and My Weight Won—I Fought My Weight and My Weight Won

I Fought My Weight and My Weight Won—I Fought My Weight and My Weight Won. I’ve battled my weight my entire life. I’ve been fat, thin, too thin, too fat, kind of handsome, and totally invisible while blocking someone else’s view. I know my way around a cookie jar and a doctor’s scale. In fact, right after I wrote the preceding sentence and had to go downstairs and make myself a sandwich, and I’m already craving another. So when the subject of Chris Christie’s weight comes up, believe me, as much ridicule as I’ve tossed his way on this blog, I identify with his plight.

Gov. Chris Christie’s 1980 high school yearbook picture.

I understand how he uses self-deprecating humor to make light of being heavy. I also understand how he gets defensive when someone else criticizes him about his girth. I’ve rarely been on the same page as Chris Christie on political issues, but I respect his candor and the way he demonstrated his priorities during Hurricane Sandy. Face it, Jersey, if there’s another coastal flood, you want a governor who can float. I need another sandwich…

Beihl’s 1968 high school year book picture.

Ok, now I’m stuffed to the gills and uncomfortable, and I already know I’ll be hungry again before bed. There was something wonderful about being physically fit (which I no longer am). And there was something exhilarating about feeling handsome. But I felt hungry the entire time. So before I further criticize Chris Christie’s weight, I need to take stock of myself by comparison. To the right is my high school yearbook photo above is Chris Christie’s yearbook photo. Chris Christie was kind of cute, while I on the other hand looked like a garbage bag full of cottage cheese wearing horn-rimmed glasses.

Me in my fifties.

I have prematurely declared myself to be a old man, because it occurred to me that I was put on earth to be a curmudgeonly old fart with a Jack Russell terrier. But back in my fifties, I had a spectacular time during my midlife crisis, starving myself half to death and allowing a professional fitness trainer to put me through my paces. I felt fabulous, but I also felt hungry all the time. It was a hellish balance between willpower and immediate gratification. For a while, sex won, so I stayed physically fit. I got more of almost everything I wanted when I was physically fit. Certainly freelance work came my way more easily.

Christie in his fifties.

 

Granted, I don’t have the weighty responsibilities that a governor faces, but I have seen my share of life’s challenges. With this in mind, it occurred to me that Chris Christie and I are polar opposite people. He’s straight and I’m gay. He’s a republican and I’m a democrat. He was handsome and popular in high school and I was too fat to fit into my locker when kids tried to slam me inside it. He’s rich and I’m poor. He’s obese in his fifties, and I was “smokin’ hot” if I say so myself. These days, I look like the Travelocity lawn gnome, only with a slightly better fashion sense.

 

I’m sorry that Chris Christie’s children had to hear on TV that their dad is a walking heart attack, but it’s true. He is, however, the closest thing the Republican Party has to a reasonable politician, which is a frightening thought. Whether you like him or not, and whether HE likes it or not, the man needs to lose weight for the sake of his own health. So suddenly Chris Christie and I finally have something in common: I need to take off some tonnage too, if only to avoid buying a whole new wardrobe. God these pants are tight after that third sandwich. The pity is, Chris Christie isn’t really a bad looking man under all that blubber and bluster.

Dissociated Press, 2/8/2013

And now for another gratuitous ad to promote my upcoming book which will be available in Spring 2013, about the art and life of Danny Allen.

An Early Work Late in Life by Bill Whiting http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1149501600/an-early-work-late-in-life-the-art-and-life-of-dan

 

 

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5 thoughts on “I Fought My Weight and My Weight Won—I Fought My Weight and My Weight Won

  1. On the David Letterman Show, Christie, after scarfing a donut, talked about how his blood pressure was fine, despite his weight. In my 20’s, I said the same thing, as my weight continued to climb. Then, 7 weeks after I turned 32, I had a massive heart attack. I have fought, and finally beat cigarettes, but became more and more sedentary. My blood pressure has been a real issue ever since, even as my weight went from bad to staggering, literally. Walking is difficult. I can say for a fact, that even if Chirstie’s blood pressure is OK now, he is NOT healthy. Period. Flat, full stop, end of sentence, as my Dad used to say. He is headed for heart ache, if he doesn’t do something about the weight soon. He may be headed for heart ache EVEN IF he does just because of the damage that much weight does. It could be a heart attack, stroke, or, the bullet my Dad dodged, from a blocked carotid artery. If that stops, dead is, as dead does. There are 101 things too much fat can do to you, and damn little (outside of helping insure you won’t drown, or have an excessively busy social life) that it can do FOR you.
    That aside, even if he is reasonable, when facing the disaster to his state, his policies are too hateful. His words to others too hateful, and hurtful to allow this man anywhere near national office.

    • Oh, don’t get me wrong, I’m no fan of Chris Christie, but it amazes me that HE’S one of the more sane Republicans. And I should have Daniel Craig’s body. Take that however it sounds. Hehehe.

      • Oh I KNOW just how you mean it! LOL

        I’d be happy to be half as fit as you were in your 50’s.

        “Chris Christie” and “sane” not sure they can coexist in the same sentence. But then, you did use the oxymoron, “Sane Republican”. Except for gun control, I think I might be to the Left of you. And the only reason I am on guns, is I get such a kick out of shooting them.

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