WARNING to PENNSYLVANIA VOTERS, especially women, senatorial candidate, Tom Smith may be hazardous to your health. Women who notice unwanted body hair or baldness, should immediately discontinue support for Tom Smith. If you notice premature signs of puberty in children under the age of ten, discontinue support for Tom Smith. Pregnant woman should not be exposed to Tom Smith. The antidote is to run him out of the state on a rail, preferably wearing a smart ensemble of tar and feathers. Tom Smith is challenging democratic incumbent, Bob Casey for his seat in the United States Senate. Smith’s primary agenda seems to be blasting women’s rights back to the stone age through his opposition to any definition of equality AND banning all methods of birth control – INCLUDING CONDOMS…!!! Tom Smith is an ignoramus extraordinaire committed to returning that “old time religion” into the heart of our political process – and we all know the volatile dangers of mixing politics and religion.
Smith is so confused about contemporary reality, when pressed by reporters, he jumbled up the facts of his own daughter’s consensual out of wedlock pregnancy by comparing it to imaginary parallels involving rape. In Smith’s alternate universe, there must be a fine line between recreational sex and forcible rape. Much like embattled Missouri congressman, Todd Akin, who thought women had an automatic internal mechanism to avoid pregnancy during “legitimate rape,” Tom Smith has also had to be taken aside and gently “refreshed” about the facts of life. Obviously, pregnancy as a result of premarital sex in no way relates to rape, and the very suggestion betrays Tom Smith as a shallow dimwit. Besides, who in their right mind capitalizes on their own daughter’s out-of-wedlock pregnancy simply to score cheap political points? Just what Congress needs, another neanderthal foisting his personal religious beliefs on a diverse constituency. Pennsylvania voters already made a series egregious errors in the last midterm by electing greed motivated ultraconservatives like Wall Street darling, Senator Pat Toomey over the infinitely more qualified retired Navy Vice-Admiral, Joe Sestak. And lest we forget the present knucklehead, Governor Tom Corbett’s stance on forced transvaginal ultrasounds – while he attempts to draw attention away from his shadow role in the Penn State sex-scandal cover-up when he was the State Attorney General. Snap to attention, Pennsylvanians, and stop lowering the bar by pandering to toothless, chinless hillbillies.
Tom Smith’s extreme anti-abortion stance extends itself to denying abortion to women who are victims of rape and incest. Smith is opposed to in vitro fertilization, while desperately clinging to the imaginary “personhood” rights of frozen embryonic stem cells. Fold-in Smith’s extreme ideas in a state with a governor in favor of decimating women’s rights, and voter’s rights in general, and what you get is unintelligent, regressive representation on both the federal and state levels. In fact Pennsylvania is moving dangerously close to state sanctioned misogyny and prejudice.
No one in their right mind considers abortion to be a “birth control” method of choice. Abortion is a physically and emotionally painful decision for any woman. But why in the world has it become such a priority for so many self-righteous old men to crusade against a woman’s right to choose? Every single day of my life I pass Planned Parenthood on my way to or from one end of town to the other, stepping over slack-jawed old men brandishing signs with pictures that destroy my appetite for bruschetta, as those “protestors” slobber over their rosary beads. NOW these old fools have a candidate who wants to see both the mother, and the abortion provider serving hard prison time for performing legal procedures which are decisions solely between a woman and her doctor, and have nothing whatsoever to do with these old coots.
As America’s population grows, anti-abortion protestors remain blithely unaware that crime statistics decreased proportionally to the population ever since Roe vs. Wade, because unwanted children rarely find themselves growing-up in encouraging circumstances. “Good” religious men like Tom Smith prefer to kill people AFTER they’ve suffered lives denied opportunity and hope. Some of the unborn are encumbered with a bloodstream tainted with crack-cocaine, fetal alcohol syndrome and incurable sexually transmitted diseases LONG before they ever reach the birth canal. You can’t “pray-away” criminal brain deformations in children born to parents with crack cocaine addiction – all you manage to accomplish is a generation full of Rosemary’s baby’s. But fools like Pennsylvania senatorial candidate, Tom Smith remains blithely unaware of that.
To all women living in Pennsylvania and the men who love and respect them, make certain to vote FOR Bob Casey on November 6th, because we have no time or patience left for any more superstitious imbeciles in Congress. We have more than enough taking up space as it is, when they deign show up for work at all….