WinnieToons is Proud to Publish Our Most Offensive Post to Date

Newton Leroy McPherson was born in 1943, and adopted his mother’s 2nd husband’s last name of Gingrich, which was modified from the more appropriate German spelling of GinREICH.  Like his multiple metamorphosis of names, Newt, himself is difficult to nail down, bringing to mind the oft-cited cliche of ‘nailing Jello to the wall.’  He’s one slippery little greased pig.

Newt is a cunning man who won’t allow trivialities like ethics or integrity to stand in his way, as illustrated by his being censured while Speaker of the House with 83 ethics violations – NO, make that 84 – resigning from Congress, fully disgraced in 1997.  Newt stated in his own voice the following beautiful and telling words: “In my name and over my signature, inaccurate, incomplete and unreliable statements were given to the committee.”  They might well be the only truthful utterances ever to fall from the man’s lips.

Newt was at the time spearheading the movement to skewer President Clinton over the Monica Lewinski cigar-job scandal, when it came to light that Newt, himself was embroiled in all sorts of illegal chicanery concerning the “people’s business”- AND having a far more serious extra-marital affair with House staffer, Callista Bisek, whom he has since married.  In order to marry Callista, Newt served divorce papers to his 2nd wife, Marianne Ginther Gingrich shortly after she’d been diagnosed with multiple-sclerosis.  Newt has a history of divorcing his wives the moment they develop any kind of serious health problem.  Why wait ’til death do us depart?  Perhaps it’s something in the Gingrich family drinking water…?

Be all that as it may, it’s not the affairs that bother me, it’s the hypocrisy. Newt packages himself to his followers as a God-fearing grandfather and family man.  Newt’s minions are the devout Christian-values crowd who would no doubt if asked, cry-out to be given Barabbas while feeling all the holier for their blundering judgementalism.

Newt began the affair with his 2nd wife, Marianne while he was still married to his 1st wife, Jackie Battley Gingrich.  It is notable to mention that Jackie Battley Gingrich was Newt’s high school geometry teacher – and if that wasn’t peculiar enough – he served Jackie her divorce papers while she was hospitalized battling cervical cancer in order to marry his 2nd wife, Marianne.  So far, 3rd wife, Callista remains in good health, and no doubt employes a battalion of ‘poisoning-maidens’ to insure her own longevity…  As if death or illness could ever put the touch on the current Mrs Gingrich – she already sports an impeccably pre-embalmed appearance like that of a demonic ice queen. 

Which of the 3 faces of Callista do YOU want for
First Lady

It’s Callista for whom Newt has run-up a half million dollars worth of jewelry at Tiffany’s on a rotating charge, while sailing to the Greek Islands when other presidential contenders were out pressing the flesh.  Newt accomplishes these lavish extravagances on his “meager” salary as a paid neo-con lecturer boasting multiple bookings at $60,000 a pop for 45 minutes worth of blatherings about his “historical” fictions and deranged worldview.  Newt’s current passion is the repeal of child labor laws: World without pity.  Amen.

Newt is quick to self-righteously defame the integrity of any politician who had financial dealings with Fanny Mae and Freddy Mac, who led to the collapse of the housing market.  While technically powerless, Newt’s demanded all those politicians be forced to resign – when in reality Newt, himself was on the payroll of Fanny Mae and Freddy Mac in the days proceeding the housing crisis as a “consultant and historian” paid a cool 1.8 million for his services.  But Newt sees nothing inconsistent about this when he’s eviscerating political opponents and detractors.

After a lifetime of lying, cheating, misleading and deceiving everyone from his multiple wives to his former Georgia constituents – Newt has conveniently found “redemption” in Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior, through the equally dubious integrity of Catholic Church – just in time to fool naive Republican voters into thinking this salamander has permanently changed the color of his ‘tone.’  

Almost none of Newt’s former colleagues from the infamous ‘Republican class of 1995′ are rushing to Newt’s defense.  In fact many of them are sounding a warning about the man who drafted “The Contract for America” – later dubbed as a “Contract ON America.”   Conservative talk radio host, Michael Savage has gone so far as to offer Newt Gingrich ONE MILLION DOLLARS in CASH to remove himself from the Republican presidential race. 

Heaven help us should Newt ever be granted the plum-prize as President of the United States, for it would most surely become his throne, and the American people will be reduced to that which is flushed to the sewer.  

2 thoughts on “WinnieToons is Proud to Publish Our Most Offensive Post to Date

  1. I've seen the batshyte crazy images of Callista Gin'grinch' somewhere before. The one that is the replication of the right half of her face (center image) looks like a classical, evil b!t¢#, manipulative and cold. The replication of the left half (right-hand pic) looks more insane that Caribou Barbie and Michelle Bobblehead COMBINED. I don't think Fig Newton will divorce her, they are two peas in a pod. Batshyte Crazy and Totally unethical, a marriage made in a padded cell.
    Not only do I not want ANY part of that plastic-fantastic to be anywhere near the White House. She more belongs below an outhouse, along with that bloated fecal matter she's married to.

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