Whatever will we do to entertain ourselves with the republican debates behind us and the Christmas holidays yet to come? I’m not a huge fan of holiday TV specials, except for the year Claudine Longet appeared fresh from prison on the ‘Andy Williams Family Christmas Special’ after she’d shot and killed ski-pro Spider Sabich. Now THAT was ‘must-see TV.’ But those were simpler times.
Michele Bachmann will be going home to ‘pray-away the gay’ in hopes that her husband is actually straight. Mitt Romney will have to figure out how to get life-sized sports cars’s into all his many children’s stockings. Rick Perry will be throwing the switch on a Christmas tree-shaped pyramid of potentially innocent death row inmates, lighting them-up for all to enjoy. We know Rick Santorum will not be spending his holiday feeding the poor. Most certainly Newt Gingrich will be buying-out the entire floor at Tiffany’s for his wife Callista. And no one gives a crap what Ron Paul does with his holiday. In a perfect world Herman Cain’s family gathering would be telecast as a reality TV program. You know he’s getting a black-walnut lump of coal in his stocking this year. Oh, to be a fly on that wall…
It’ll be a blue, blue Christmas without them.
I’m going to miss all of the the Republican hopeful’s and their “zany” antics – but on the bright side – which ever one of them is deemed to be the worst, the most unpalatable, the most embarrassing and the most illogical; will be anointed to represent the party of greed supplying endless sound-bites for all of next year’s vicious, overbearing political campaign ads. We have so much to be thankful for – and to look forward-to.
This Christmas, I’m thankful for Duck D. Duck’s courage in taking the bull-by-the-horns and becoming the Long Island Ice Tea Party Candidate. Someone needed to represent the inebriated. In fact, Duck’s Christmas present for Winnie and me, just arrived in the mail today special delivery. She sent delicious dog treats for Winnie, (I’ve tried them) and 3 lovely, thoughtful bags of ‘Old Fashioned Common Sense Throwin’ Gravel’ directly from Texas. This product can be used to toss right in the eyes of your enemies, as it boasts on the packaging. Not to mention it outsold the “Pet Rock” in Europe – very ‘Continental.’ I can hardly wait for my first arrest after using it, but I’ll have to use it sparingly, because there are so many idiots out there who need a face-full gravel. Thank you, Duck, I will cherish that gravel right-up until someone posts bond.
|Duck D. Duck’s thoughtful gift in the spirit of the season.|