Starring Winifred P. Jumpingbean
T’was the night before Health Care and all through the House
a de-bate was brewing over who’d be the louse…?
The Supreme Court was trying how not to look bias,
while preexisting conditions all hung in the balance.
When what to my constitutional eyes should appear,
but Santorum, the closet queen – the one who hates queers.
He screamed at reporters using vile words like ‘bullshit,’
The media all heard the asshole, sayin’ “you just stepped in-it.”
Gone Bachman, gone Herman, gone Perry and Huntman,
All they’ve left now is Gingrich, Ron Paul and a Santorum.
When what to our wondering eyes should appear?
But Mitt Romney pretending to be Obama, so why should we veer?
“Dammit all, Dammit all, Dammit all,” cried Santorum.
For he was the one who said all their faults were ’cause of ‘em.
Why switch from Obama if there’s no difference between them?
Santorum’s voice full of bluster, with sweat and a tear,
Lost his cool before cameras sensing that failure was near.
Now dash away, dash away, dash away all…
You’ve got nothing to offer, not even a conciliatory beer.
The women don’t want trans-vaginal ultrasounds,
ESPECIALLY if Rush wants to watch…
Republicans are idiots obsessed with your crotch.
And poor little Ricky with his weird crooked face,
Is left facing reality, he needs to get out of the race.
Even Gingrich and Ron Paul and Mittens all fear,
no matter what happens, 2012 is just not their year.