Chris Christie’s Secret Lesbian Love Life

I reserve the right to be angry.  My home state of New Jersey is a place where they’ll elect a homosexual to serve as governor just so long as he’s leading a secret double life and living in the closet.  That said, there isn’t a closet big enough to accommodate Chris Christie or a room where they don’t have to blow a hole through the wall and use the jaws of life simply to remove him — and that’s only to accommodate his ego.  Hopelessly heterosexual, Governor Chris Christie refused to sign the New Jersey State Gay Marriage Bill into law — even after it passed in the State Senate and Assembly — not because he really cares one way or the other, but rather because the importance of the Gay Marriage Amendment in his eyes isn’t the freedom and equality of a minority group who deserve better — but rather the pursuit of his own self-serving political ambitions while pandering to the lowest common denominator of the right-wing.  Christie wants to have the measure placed as a ballot initiative so he can wash his hands of the outcome, whatever those results might be.  There’s something inherently wrong with asking the majority to vote on extending rights to a minority.  It flies in the face of the very definition of the word “rights.”

Never elect a politician who genuinely wants the job — when you do, his job becomes nothing more that a stepping stone on the road to higher office and corruption.  I like to think of crooks like Chris Christie as being “flushed upward with the tide of incompetence.”  God knows Christie can both float AND demonstrate incompetence.  We’re supposed to be a nation founded on the principal of religious freedom — but religion cuts both ways, and cults of all kinds insist their minions embrace time-honored prejudices and never ever stop to question why.  Irrational hate is a ‘given’ that goes hand in hand with unfounded fear.  Fears like: Gay is bad.  Don’t know why.  Just is.  Heard it somewhere, so it must be part of the deterioration of society and family values.  But heterosexuals clocking 3 or more marriages are merely unlucky in love — and it’s all perfectly legal.

I knew I was gay when I was a little boy by age 6 or 7.  Through pure accident I happened across the word “homosexual” in the dictionary, and after reading the definition my face went red-hot with panic because I knew I’d been preordained to become the person my parents and teachers had warned me about and made fun-of.  I never checked a box or applied for a permit to be gay.  It was never a choice.  It simply was — and I’ve known it all my life.

Other kids as they entered the age of sexual awakening openly acted on their attractions — boys and girls held hands in the playground pretending to be boyfriend and girlfriend.  I sat out that rite of passage, holding my own hand, and the burden of a gigantic secret buried deep inside me.  My secret was abhorrent to the sensibilities of other people and I knew instinctively it had to be hidden-away for my own safety.  Eventually through peer pressure, I dated girls, and in doing-so did those girls a disservice by not being who they believed me to be.  I’d learned early to control my limp wrists and lower my voice an octave — I even feigned interest in sports but only as a spectator.  I was afraid that contact sports with other men’s bodies would blow my cover.  I protected myself by becoming fat so I could remove myself from consideration, and act like I had no sexual awakenings — preferring the ridicule of being over-weight to being called a faggot or a queer.  Being heavy let me remain unnoticed and unattractive.

No one can live like that forever, or at least no one should.

When I finally dated, I dated nice girls, hoping I’d never be put to the test of performing as a physical lover.  Sex, however is unavoidable.  I made love to girls and bragged about it to my buddies.  Buddies I’d have rather made love with…  I didn’t set my emotional/sexual course in motion, desire and sexual preference moves by it’s own volition.  For a time you can pretend your sexuality doesn’t exist, or work to suppress your own desires, but not for long.

When I later came-out, I lost 2 gay lovers to early deaths — one to suicide and another to AIDS.  I didn’t get the compassion or comfort a widower would receive after loosing a wife.  I’ve endured break-ups that were no less devastating than any divorce — but I was expected to move-on — buck-up without lingering over my grief, which naturally prolonged it.  I wasn’t allowed to mourn comforted by family because of the social attitudes of the time.  Gay emotions still aren’t given the validity or respect they/we deserve.  Straight people with multiple divorces are granted far more comfort and support than people like me who only wanted one special person in my life.   So far, there’s no sign of him.  I once got a fortune cookie that read: “Still no word from that tall dark stranger.”  The prophecy remains unfulfilled to this day.

I lived through the 1960’s Gay Liberation years and the age of the Stonewall riots followed by the clumsy sexual revolution during the Woodstock hippie period.  I didn’t jump-in feet-first, although I wanted to.  I was too shy about myself and hid away often for decades — touching no one — never wanting to feel the pain of a partner’s loss from abandonment or death ever again.  Over time I lifted myself up and tried to get in the game again, because life without love is something less than living.  When the AIDS epidemic came along, it took my 2nd love.  He’d already left me for another man, so I mourned him alone, still in love with him when he died.

In the 1980’s while the epidemic was still misunderstood, primitive thinkers seeking easy answers turned to organized religions who damned my dying friends and passed judgement and blame on people like me.  Its impossible to do battle with irrational, primitive attitudes.  While I volunteered my help during the AIDS epidemic — the psychological effect of the epidemic itself robbed me from acting on my natural desires at a time that would have been the height of my sexuality.  I’ll never allow anyone to tell me my love and lust are not natural, because they came naturally enough to me.  Those desires are part of who I am, not who I asked to become.  It’s my reality and I embrace it.

I had a brief period of promiscuity late in life in a desperate attempt to feel what everyone else had experienced at a much younger age.  Love never much came my way, or stayed for long when it did.  I couldn’t let down my guard long enough to be receptive to embracing what every other living person wants and deserves.  The path for gay people of my generation (and earlier) hasn’t been easy…  So how dare someone like Chris Christie, a bloated, self-important fraud, care more about his worthless political ambitions than the emotional health and well-being of all the people he’s supposed to serve?  Christie doesn’t work to understand anyone outside his limited scope of understanding.  Lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgenders live lives deprived of the liberties and rights pompous fools like Chris Christie take for granted.  So climb that ladder to political gain, but don’t gain any more tonnage, or the rungs will snap.  Go ahead and deceive yourself into believing your personal self-serving goals are worth more than doing what’s right.  Mr Christie, you’re on the wrong side of history, damaging lives which have no adverse impact on your own.

Looking at my life now, it’s too late for me to change, I’m not sure I even want to or know how.  I’m hardwired to live alone.  I’ve only experienced enough intimacy to have a pretty good idea of what I’ve missed.  With that in mind, Mr Christie, don’t you dare think your corpulent fat-headed cowardice, hidden behind a facade of bluster and balls grants you the right to deny other people and future generations the healthy, accepted expression of fully legalized love through marriage guaranteed to every person under our Constitution.  You may choose to exclude us, but  that doesn’t make you right.  Even you, Mr Christie aren’t big enough to stop the inevitable.  You’re only a temporary blockage — A spongy impasse…  A constipation…  An ambitious fool too bloated to get out of his own way.  You can’t stop progress.  Your own heart will stop first, assuming you have one.

11 thoughts on “Chris Christie’s Secret Lesbian Love Life

  1. Beihl, you have not said one single thing with which I could disagree. Chris Christie is a bloated fool & his veto is cowardly. Why does he think we elect people to the legislative bodies of the states & the federal government? Its because we live in a democratically elected federated republic. We can’t all show up for a massive town hall meeting! We elect representatives to serve as our trusted servants & to discuss & debate & then vote on matters brought before the legislatures. The NJ Senate & Assembly did all that & voted to pass the legislation. Your take on why Chris Christie cowardly vetoed the bill is right on target. He’s an ass! A bloated one at that.

  2. On the bright side, he’d make a fabulous re-issue of the Happy the Clown inflated punching-bag bounce-back doll. Think of the hours of entertainment smacking him as he comes back for more.

  3. Beihl, you have quite the gift for voicing logic and reality in terms that ring true, shed a light on cowardice and are completely beyond the comprehension of the GOP electorate, (politicians) voters (NASCAR Trailer trash set) or their constituency (the 1%)
    Too bad you aren’t running for office. I’d vote for you.
    I, too, remember back to the tail end of the sexual revolution, up until it was quashed by the opening volleys of the AIDS epidemic. I was also already fat back then. (Far worse now) and WISH that I was teased for my weight. Despite the fact that I am as straight as the Dallas-Fort Worth highway, I was called all the names you were working to avoid, because I was too crushingly shy, with too broken a spirit, due to an abusive father, and the hatred my peers addressed to anyone from “outside” (we’d moved back to Vermont from Idaho when I was 10). I couldn’t ask a girl out to save my life, and any advances they might have made were lost in the jeers and ridicule.
    As a result I grew up with a deep hatred of gays and a belief that it was a mental aberration, insanity, if you will. I also had a deep hatred of myself, and almost all kids and/or adults. I managed to overcome MOST of the self loathing, and of some adults. I still do not much care for kids HOWEVER, I did finally, after getting to know many gay and lesbian friends, and a lot of work, and a lot of disgust at the bigotry and hatred the Reich shows the LGBTQ community, shed my last shred of my own homophobia. I now accept that it is NOT a choice, not insanity and not an “abomination”. The last was actually the first to depart, when I turned my back on the Catholic “church”, a hate group if ever there was one.
    It is pathetic that Christie took the cowards path that he did. It is equally disgusting that the afore mentioned hate group, based in Rome and lead by the former Hitler Youth has promised MILLIONS to attack the law that Governor Gregoire signed recently. They are the latest one to take advantage of Citizens Urinated-on to throw their money from overseas into SuperPAC’s to try and influence state and federal elections. Any group that accepts money from a foreign group for US elections should be charged with treason.
    It has long been known that rights are NOT something we vote on, because there are far too many hateful bigoted people. If the majority wanted the equality, we wouldn’t need an act of Congress to enforce it, it would be automatic. We sent elected officials to the state capital and Washington DC to work for the betterment of all, not the few bigots, and the 1%, and these attacks on the American people, not only need to be stopped, but they need to be prosecuted.

  4. Growing-up isn’t easy for most people — except for the luckiest and most beautiful. Mark, don’t beat yourself-up for and prior beliefs or prejudices. What matters is following a journey that leads you to better choices and conclusions. I think you’ve done that.

    I also know when we’re young we seek out the shortcomings in other people to bolster our view of ourselves. When we mature, we grow out of those phases — same as adolescents and shoplifting… Those who don’t go into politics or worse — turn into Rush Limbaugh listeners – hehehe.

  5. I just got 2 identical ‘spam’ comments for approval from 2 different hacked emails. Here’s a copy ‘n paste:

    “I image this could be diverse upon the written content? then again I nonetheless consider that it is usually suitable for just about any type of matter subject matter, as a result of it would steadily be enjoyable to decide a warm and delightful face or possibly listen a voice when preliminary landing.”

    Could WinnieToons be receiving messages from outer space…? Hehehe.

    • I can imaging having a “warm and delightful face” when “preliminary landing” for a willing young lady! (Like my wife) LOLOL OMG that is one of the WORST examples of “Engrish” I have ever seen!

  6. I get ‘em on this blog all the time. I’ll watch for some of the better examples and post them. I put one in a rant a few posts back about a nasty old boyfriend I’ve dropped from Facebook.

  7. maybe chris christie is so overweight to hide his own personal deep emotional scars, pain, and true fragile self????
    i don’t know much about him; and I am all for gay rights, but, come on, there is little funnier than telling a teacher that you admire chris christie and sitting back and watching the sparks!

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