Not Too Bright? Then the GOP Needs You!

Everyone’s heard the exhausted old cliche, “If you’re so smart, then why aren’t you rich?”  I watched a clip on TV where Newt Gingrich’s misguided financial backer, addle-brained, Sheldon Adelson make that tired old statement.  Well, Sheldon, you’re rich, because you slimed your way into owning a casino, which is pretty much the same as thing as saying you’re a thief.  That doesn’t make you smart, that merely makes you a dirtball with a lot of money — a lot of unreported, hidden cash-money.  The same holds true for Donald Trump and his Trump Casino Empire — another colorful, rich nitwit — but his wealth is more myth than millions.  The most visible of these GOP SuperPAC sugar-daddies all look to my eyes like unscrupulous, skeevy crooks.  American’s have caught-on.  We get it.  You don’t need to be smart to be rich.  You just need to turn your back on integrity.  In fact integrity is a liability when it comes to acquiring wealth these days — but HOW THE HELL did Rick Santorum’s sugar-daddy, Foster Friess get to become a billionaire?  What a macaroon — Are we sure Art Linkletter’s picture isn’t printed on his currency?  Bananas-Foster-Friess is a complete blithering imbecile.

I was astonished when I watched Bananas-Foster tell Andrea Mitchell that “back in HIS day” (whatever past century that was) “women would hold an aspirin between their knees as a birth-control.”  His words demonstrated what a total ‘man-gina‘ he is.  So much so, he, himself should consider running for Republican office.  He’s certainly ridiculous enough to make the cut.  No wonder the old fool is bankrolling Santorum.  Yes, we know his aspirin comment was a lame attempt at humor, but it told you everything you need to know about Santorum and those who support him.  With women’s health being the recycled hot-button topic du jour, a person would have to have cotton candy between their ears to make a statement like that in the company of a dignified woman journalist like Andrea Mitchell.  It took Ms. Mitchell a moment to compose herself.  Foster’s implication is women need to learn to control their wanton sexual appetites by keeping their knees together — and while no one doubts women have sexual appetites — MEN generally speaking are the obnoxious aggressors when it comes to unprotected sex.  NOT women.  Women from my experience are the more cautious and responsible of the genders — because they have more at stake.  Men may act dignified in public (when it occurs to them to do so) but all men really want is to get off, consequences be damned.  Perhaps Foster Friess and men like him should shove an aspirin up their bananas and never speak out loud ever again.  News flash to Foster Friess — when you appear on television, people can hear you talk.  It gets recorded and archived.  Just keep it in mind ‘ya old simpleton.

Santorum who once appeared to be jockeying to get placed on the short-list for VP, now believes he can abort Romney’s dwindling lead by being the “sincere” crazy-assed non-Romney-for-president.  And the aforementioned Foster Friess will serve as Santorum’s cash-infusion machine by backing God’s own buzz-kill on earth in the upcoming primaries.  We haven’t heard much from the Republican comedy team lately aside from all the news focused on old white dudes trying to mandate women’s health issues.

Who knows what evil lurks in the minds of Republican men as the next debacle-a-bate heads to Michigan, Ohio and Arizona?  Mitt Romney is finally looking less like the shoe-in for face-man he once was.  Romney’s mud will be slung — but this time the focus will be on Santorum.  And Santorum now has the SuperPAC funds to allow him to sling right back.  Newt Gingrich is mortally wounded, but like Rasputin, he simply won’t die.  Ironically, Romney now needs Newt to stay in the race merely to keep the odds properly split among likely primary voters.  At this point, Mitt needs a spoiler if he’s going win in Michigan.  And yes, the trees are tall.  Genius.

Mitt Romney is looking frantic and scared, as well he should — (especially in Michigan and Ohio) unless both old buzzards — Newt Gingrich and Ron Paul have enough staying-power to dilute the process to Romney’s advantage — his chances for a decisive national GOP win get slimmer by the day.  This is wonderful news, not for Romney, but for Santorum, who is so far afield from acceptable ideologies among women and independent voters, A Santorum candidacy could spell the end of any remaining semblance of credibility for the GOP.  A Santorum win would be a victory for the wide world of comedy…  But there’s something else stirring in them-thar hills…

SARAH PALIN…!!!  EVEN after watching all the previous train-wrecks that have gone before, she’s making noises about entering the Republican presidential race as a brokered candidate.  Excellent.  She claims to have that “fire in her belly” again.  Personally I think she should have it checked-out and make sure she isn’t incubating another late-life satanic pregnancy.  However you slice it, Palin joining the fray would restore the dearth of comic stylings previously provided by Michele Bachman, Herman Cain and Rick Perry.  But Palin will never go through with it — she’s just lonely when she’s not center-stage under the spotlight.  There are precious few buyers left for Palin’s brand of crazy.  She’s been out Loony-Tooned by all that’s transpired this year from Cain’s “999” to Perry’s “Opps-moments” to Michele Bachman deep-throating corndogs.  The circus wagon has left town and Sarah wasn’t on it, but it sure would be fun to see her added to the GOP mix.  The Republican brand was severely wounded long ago by Bush/Cheney — and then polished-off by Tea Party-poopers.  Republicans are a party in crisis.  I foresee the entire Republican class of 2012 being the best possible thing in the world for the Democratics.  Happy President’s Day Mr Obama.  Happy President’s Day.  How very satisfying.

2 thoughts on “Not Too Bright? Then the GOP Needs You!

  1. Every candidate has had their moment in first place, Mitt, Newt, Bobblehead, Pizza-the-Hut, Oops. and that wad of Santorum. Only one left to take the lead as “flavor of the month” is Ron Paul but his Libertarian brand of bat$#!T crazy, the Ratpublican’ts are not buying. Ricky Flake will now see his candidacy do the tail spin all the others did. Unfortunately for the GOP, the remaining front runner will be the incumbent.
    At this point, the comedy of the campaign is dwindling to a nauseous disturbing, disgusting horror story of hatred, bigotry, old-school sexism, stupidity, racism, greed, more stupidity and greed.
    Some days I think that, secretly, the current crap of candidates really want President Obama to be reelected. Fine, we can do four more years of Obama, that would be great. Especially if the coat tails of this batch of losers takes much of the GOP constipation out of Congress.
    With all the great things that have been brought to this country by liberals, INCLUDING independence from Britain, you’d think there would be greater support for liberal ideals. Personally, I find even the Democrats too far right. They have become “Right of center” to placate the GOP Reich-wing extremists.
    Socialist is being bandied about as a slur or curse word, as bad or worse than during the McCarthy madness. I say socialism, the idea that we work TOGETHER as a society is the only path forward for progress, and more should be embracing that idea.
    Last night I watched Charlie Chaplin in “The Great Dictator” and his impassioned speech at the end was so appropriate to today, so accurate, that I hunted down a video of it on YouTube and posted it to Facebook. He talks far more eloquently than I of the evil of greed, of hate and the need for out society to work together in hope, in peace, and love. This movie was made to parody Hitler in 1940, released in early 1941. It speaks VOLUMES that this movie is so telling, so accurate against the GOP today. I consider them at least as big a threat to liberty and the American people as the Nazi’s in Germany were in the forties.
    I hope we can stop them at the polls, because the messy alternative would set this country back a century as it is.

  2. I haven’t seen the Great Dictator in years. I’ll look for your repost on Facebook. I also bristle at the definition reassigned to the word socialism. In fact I was giving thought to the term the other day.

    Believe it or not, I was on a “date” the other day (please, if anyone learns of me doing anything like that again, hit me over the head and hide the body.) My date turned out to be a gay republican. You KNOW how that evening ended – with an aspirin between my knees.

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