Pope Incentious XIII

Pope Benedicthead is about to begin the proceedings of canonizing Pope j2p2 in an effort to draw attention away from Kate Middleton’s smoky, triumphant high Episcopal wedding.  But his real motives are to draw attention away from the international disgrace known as the Catholic Church, and the role he and his predecessors played in looking the other way – or worse – while unspeakable atrocities took place.  Here in Philadelphia, like Boston, Dublin and other places around the world, there is a brewing pedophilia scandal filled with salacious details.  Including money laundering with the Cosa Nostra.  

I know of a notorious Philadelphia priest who is HIV-positive, protected by the church, hires prostitutes, holding sex parties and still performs Mass on Sunday mornings.  I’ve never been to one, (the mass or the mass orgy) but I wouldn’t go even if invited. 

It is unnatural for human beings to suppress their sexual desires.  Historically in Catholicism, it’s all about property being handed down in from popes and cardinals in earlier times to leave church property to their bastard sons instead of handing it over to the ever growing yard sale in the basement of the Vatican. 

Enter the vow of chastity.

The Vatican could cure world hunger with a sidewalk sale.  But as Christ advised people to share their worldly possessions with the needy, the greediest among us while claiming pristine religious intent would never surrender their booty to people who most need it – especially to people with a different color skin or another take or worldview of right and wrong.  Rush Limbaugh who doesn’t know one useful word from the bible justifies his greed as sanctioned by Jesus – he just said so on his oral-diarrhea radio session last week .  One hopes Rush gets a brief word with the Lord while waiting out is sentence in purgatory.

The word “nepotism” stems from the word’ nephew.’  A nephew of a 15th century pope was appointed as the ’Minister of Cultural Affairs’ which gave that nephew the authority to ransack any art collection in Rome “appropriating” items that caught his eye.   The Roman Pope who build the Villa Dora Pamphilli for his favorite nephew did so under a cloud of incestuous suspicions, and little has changed since.  Catholicism is a hypocritical religion based on relinquishing worldly possessions while languishing in the most vulgar opulence in the world – while wars rage, people starve and evil takes a commanding hand the “holy” church looks the other way.  Take the present pope – a former Hitler youth.  Were I he, I’d have declined the nomination with humility based on my misguided youth.  However this is the present day where greed is God.

In early adolescence I discovered there were certain boys in my neighborhood who could be persuaded to pull-their-pants-down in little clearings in the woods and indulge in quick guilty probing experiments.  They found me first.  I must have sent out ‘vibes’ as an easy-mark. In fact I’m sure I did.

One boy in particular sticks in my mind, because he was a Catholic.  The searing guilt of sexual misconduct affords the good Catholic a far better toss in the hay than the rest of us Protestants could ever enjoy.  The pleasures of forbidden sex are greatly more elicit than the ones extracted from more guiltless parties — Its the knowledge that one is doing wrong in they eyes of the church, and can then place the whole act on auto-erase in the confessional only to re-emerge fresh as a daisy to re-sin all over again which gives Catholics such an erotic edge.

While still being too young to grasp the point of it all, some force never the less drove me to naked experimentation with other boys well prior to technical puberty.  My Catholic friend, named Giuseppe, lived down the street from me.  I managed with no difficulty to sample both he and his brother, Tony — there was no need for persuasion.  Giuseppe in particular was every bit as invested in this experimentation as I was.  Decades later, meeting Giuseppe and his wife at my 25th high school reunion, he drunkenly whispered to me that he that he used memories of our childhood experimentation together to help him through difficult performance problems with his wife.  I wound that conversation right up, and got the hell away from him as soon as I could.
Giuseppe was a tan-skinned Italian boy with jet black hair and forty two teeth.  He and I found an area where a dog had dug a trench under a great overgrown lilac bush that grew half in my back yard and half in the neighbors.  Giuseppe and I would loosen our trousers and poke around doing things on which I don’t feel it’s necessary to elaborate.  You get the picture.  Giuseppe however wanted to introduce a new element into the festivities – Costumes.  Giuseppe wanted to reenact bible stories in the nude.  He had a baby blue blanket he would drape over his head and assume postures of the blessed virgin while chanting “take, eat, this is my body which is given to thee…”  In the 1950’s, the Catholic Church was moving away from Latin and already the ramifications were showing dangerous repercussions on the youth.  So now you know why I slowly stepped back from Giuseppe at our High School Reunion.  Did I mention Giuseppe was a Catholic alter boy, as was his brother…

My mother had developed an uncanny ability to detect guilt on me whenever I entered the house.  I would emerge from the bushes zipped-up and cleansed of impure thoughts, walking nonchalantly into the house, and my mother, (Grandma Betty) would say…”What have you just been doing?  You look guilty as sin to me.   Go ahead tell me, you know you can’t put anything over on your mother.”  I would tearfully confess, go to bed without dinner, and feel like the lowest creature on the face of the earth.  When I got a little taller, I realized from the vantage point of the kitchen window, all that went on under the lilac bush was far clearer than the reception on our TV set, (with or without tin foil on the rabbit ears).  Shortly after this series of incidents my parents put the house up for sale, and we moved to a new upscale neighborhood in hopes of better influences on my impressionable mind.

Giuseppe and his brother, Tony weren’t novices at sexual experimentation.  They were alter AND choir boys, which is not dissimilar to white-slavery, only without the free-will and the voluntary loss of innocence.  I refuse to believe either j2p2 or Benedicthead were unaware of the rampant bottled-up sexual frustrations being perpetrated against children in the church’s own holy chapter of NAMBLA — turning children into the very people their parents had warned them about.  Sexual shame makes those children prime for the molesting and psychiatrists very, very rich.  Any idea how that kind of thing fucks with a person’s psyche?

In the middle ages a particularly nasty pope (they all run together in their brocade vestments), announced a “MIRACLE!!!”  800 or more years after the historic birth of Christ, it was “discovered” that Mary gave a virgin birth to to the Christ child.  Apparently they had video tapes and a statement from her gynecologist.  Lets give the historic figure of Christ some respect – he was born of a natural woman, earlier writings describe her foretelling as being a young woman pure of heart.  But after the 8th century pope was done raping, pillaging and murdering everyone in the path of his greed – he needed a miracle for public relations purposes.  Voila – The Virgin Birth.  The gullible ate it up.  That’s how the virgin birth nonsense was concocted.  Leave it to the scholars to pinpoint the name of the black-hearted holy man.  I’m too tired to to do the boring research.  Suffice it to know history repeats itself – and j2p2 is being fast-tracked to sainthood as a distraction from Benny’s ugly truths.  Let’s face it, if you can’t find it in your heart to know the difference from right and wrong, and need to turn to a cult for guidance – then your heart and head are dim. And your IQ is exceeded only by your shoe size.  So give lots of money this Sunday to the church.  Dry-cleaning vestments is mighty costly in this economy.

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