House Speaker, John Boehner, not known for having aptitude at much of anything, managed somehow to multi-task by touching-up on his suntan during the President’s State of the Union address last night. According to authorities, special ultraviolet tanning bulbs were installed directly above the Speaker lest he start to look pasty under the chin.
It cannot have been easy for the top-ranking House Republican to stand, applaud and hold a tanning reflector throughout the entire hour and five minute speech. Even more difficult was the challenge of listening to Barack Obama list (in all modesty) the litany of accomplishments he has to his own credit — most of which were issues bungled by the previous Republican administration due to a severe deficit of competence. President Obama was able to take credit for everything from taking-out Osama Bin Laden with minimal elite forces (as opposed to 9 years worth of incomprehensible losses of life, limb, blood and treasure) to budding signs of growth as Obama has wrestled a slow-down in the out-of-control economic train-wreck left in the wake of George W. Bush.
Republicans had already started dissing the president’s address long before they’d heard a word of it, reinforcing their own paranoia about having nothing to offer the American people but wedge issues, stalling techniques and failure — embodied by the clown-car of candidates, one of whom they hope to palm-off on us in November, 2012.
The State of the Union rebuttal was given by embattled Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels who boasts the embarrassing blot on his resume of having served as George W. Bush’s Chief Economic Adviser. Mr Daniels’ words were largely in glowing agreement with the president — except when it came to the subject of the economy — Daniels feels the Republicans could do a much worse job, and hope the voting public with give them another chance to make all of our lives more difficult and riddled with fear. Mitch Daniels has as much, if not more economic blood on his hands as Bush and Cheney combined — so he seemed to be an odd choice to take Obama to task for not making enough economic progress cleaning-up the mess Daniels himself played such a large part in creating.
The goal of Daniels’ rebuttal, is much the same as that of the GOP presidential hopefuls by attempting to get citizens nostalgic about reliving the failures of the previous administration. John Boehner is personally doing his part by trying to achieve a skin-tone that’s a half-dozen shades darker than the president’s own in an effort to reach-out to ethnic and racial minorities. Face it, the GOP hates it when Obama tells it like it is and hits one out of the park — because all the Republicans have to offer is revisionist history and wedge issues — fostered by an optimistic belief the American public has such a short memory span they’ll forget how we got into this mess in the first place. But back to the issues at hand, would you like your wedge issues with or without bacon and bleu cheese dressing?