Romney: Welcome to THE Caman Islands

Mitt Romney’s taxes are buried somewhere with the Arc of the Covenant on the Caman Islands.

Welcome to THE Caman Islands.

At least that’s how the slogan goes – with the emphasis on the “THE.”

I know nothing about taxes – or math for that matter except for intuitive geometry which is only useful in building birdhouses.  That’s why I’m poor.

Money is not my strength.

I was a great disappointment to my father who was a born mathematician.

Math never got him rich either.

You’re either born rich or you’ve gotten away with something.  It’s the American way.

 

Time to start diggin’…

Mitt wants to release his taxes in April and is not particularly forthcoming about prior years.  Five is the magic number.

Obama provided six.

Mitt’s been running for president for the past 5 years, he must be able to toss a lot of disposable income at that kind of hobby while maintaining multiple homes all on a retired fixed income.

Of course he gets speakering fees and lives on Ramon Noodles…  To his credit, in a blush of generosity gave away all the profits from his book.

Who knew he had a book?

“Travels with My Dog” by Mitt Romney.  Canine life in an air-tight carrier on the roof?  For real?  Have you been in a locked car in a hot parking lot for more than 10 minutes?  Dogs and babies die in those conditions all the time.  Try doing that with your carcass in a beer cooler with a couple holes drilled in it strapped to the roof of a car on a road-trip during a sunny day.  Talk about bugs in your teeth.

Ask McCain about it.  He’s been through it.

Mitt lives on ‘carried interest’ invested in offshore banks paying a lower tax-rate than any hard-working America tax payer could dream-of.

Word has it retired Iraq and Afghanistan War veterans pay a substantially higher tax rate than Romney enjoys on his carried interest earning of money made off of money.

But which is worse?

A man who’s been running for president for five years while building beach houses?  Or a man who’s competing to be Satan’s representative on earth while running-up a tab at Tiffany’s?

It’s quite a conundrum.

Gingrich is releasing his tax returns next week, with a green oozing mist floating over the edge of his strongbox.  Romney’s tax returns are all wrapped around silver spoons yet to be unrolled.

Santorum, Paul and Perry are unthinkable…

They’re all crazy-scary-unthinkable, but could there be a surprise?

This year the GOP could be like the Academy Awards of 1952 when Bette Davis was nominated for best actress in ‘All about Eve’ running neck in neck against a bravada performance by Gloria Swanson’s  in ‘Sunset Boulevard.’  And the Oscar went to Billy Holiday for ‘Born Yesterday.’

 

The dumb blonde walked away with the prize.

Could Rick Santorum, Ron Paul or Rick Perry be the Billy Holiday of the 2012 Republican Party?

We can dream, can’t we?

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