The Ted Cruz’ $300 Million Dollar a Day Self-promotion Scheme

649-01755343god hates fags 2Why are so many members of the extreme right wing in America so stridently and vocally Christian while embracing almost none of Christ’s doctrine nor applying any of His teachings into actual practice? I have a theory: People who believe without ever questioning the beliefs they’ve been raised with with don’t have the strength of their convictions. They have dogma and see no reason spend any further time thinking on the matter.

1377415_10151874299528221_1371201935_nThe Ted Cruz Governmental Shut Down (which is now the official name of the event) is causing untold harm to countless people, places and things. The Federal Government shut down coincided with the 123rd birthday of Yosemite National Park. “Happy birthday, deer—turn around tourists, there’s nothing to see here.” Why it sounds like a rhyme that Doctor Ted Seuss might have uttered while fila-bullshitting.

Child_hospitalChildren are being cut off from receiving treatment at the National Centers for Disease Control—throwing promising clinical trials into jeopardy while at the same time depriving those same children of life sustaining medicine and meaningful medical progress for humanity. There is a measure to extend that funding, but it’s partially a Republican trap so they’ll look reasonable. It’s a little like Fascists strapping children to a train loaded full of munitions and then trying to look magnanimous when no one fires on the train. What a home-run this is for modern Christianity, and for the duplicitous Mr. Cruz—they must all feel all warm and fuzzy about the current constipation of progress.

hgfeCruz won’t take any responsibility for the chaos and destruction he’s caused—he’ll merely blame it on Obama to a Bossa Nova beat. Ted Cruz has manipulated the party of God, guns and gonads to labor under the delusion that they’ve gotten their wish, and to some degree as nihilists, they have. Almost all non-essential services of the United States government are at a complete and total standstill for the first time in 17 years. Originally it was predicted that the 17-year locusts were going to swarm, but instead we got swarmed by one single slimy cicada named Ted Cruz, with his sophomoric faux-filibusters and his pointless attention-grabbing publicity stunts. All the same, The Affordable Health Care Act went into effect—In spite of Tea Party prayer meetings on the steps of Congress (now that was a pathetic sight to behold)—And none of the histrionics will have any effect on ObamaCare. So far the cruzprayingbiggest problem in implementing Barack Obama’s signature achievement appears to be jammed phone lines and crashing websites due to people in desperate need of health coverage trying to buy into the new exchanges. When new windows of opportunity are opened for people to obtain something they want—and the phone lines are jammed and web servers are going down—it’s actually a very good omen. But not for Ted Cruz.

What-You-Need-to-Know-About-Obamacare-and-Health-Insurance-ExchangesShutting down the government will have no effect what so ever on the implementation of The Affordable Health Care Act, which curiously enough polls much higher with knuckleheads than ObamaCare, because the Tea Party doesn’t pay attention to anything and have no earthly idea that they’re one in the same thing. Prejudice is a powerful drain on everyone’s resources and it certainly draws a lot of blood flow away from the brain.

GodHatesFacts2Meanwhile, this IS the very moment the pistol packin’ Peter Principle prophets have been praying for: The moment when life becomes more and more difficult for other people they don’t know or live near. It’s as if Tea Party labors under the misconception that ONLY their own personal slice of backyard is the true America and to hell with the government (unless, of course, they’re in need of federal assistance in the event of a natural disaster—but only they deserve assistance—not for other people). You gotta love the logic. The Tea Party is more than willing to allow Ted Cruz to hook them up to the tail of a Kool-Aid-kissed comet where Jesus Duck on the Waterneither God nor nation can be bothered with healing the sick…praise the Lord Jesus, world without end, Amen. Ted Cruz and his minions think granting people certain basic human dignities are “akin to the holocaust…!!!?” Maybe he has the word holistic confused with the word holocaust. But if that’s not the case, definitely take a pass on Ted Cruz’ federally mandated showers.

Apparently people who don’t like Obama, think Jesus wants the sick to remain sick and the poor and the elderly to go without health coverage and food—as if that was God’s very own plan, henceforth they’re sticking to script with logic and mercy be-damned. They want the government out of their own business while telling other people what they can and can’t do with their own gonads (at gunpoint if possible) fueled by a seething hatred of Ted Cruzminorities and people of foreign or suspected foreign birth. But they eat out of the hand of Eduardo Raphael Cruz, born in Alberta, Canada to an American mother and a Cuban exiled father. Ted, who prefers his name Anglicized and his Ivy League rings prominently displayed on his fingers for all to see, is shepherding his flock off a cliff all as part of his own personal ego insecurity issues.

green-eggs-and-hamIn brighter circles, Cruz will forever be known as the old ham with green egg all over his face. But he doesn’t see himself for the fool he is. He’s got people paying him the attention he so desperately craves. Almost single-underhandedly he gave birth to a national travesty, and in doing so raised his profile with people who prefer not to think too deeply—most notably, his base. Cruz hails from Texas where he oiled his way into the hearts of the Bible belt. Cruz is being mentored by Jim DeMint, ( DeMint felt he could personally do more damage to the country from outside the confines of popularly elected government) so he uses Ted Cruz as his mouthpiece. DeMint left Congress to head the Heritage Foundation think tank—best described as a room full of empty laboratory jars. The Heritage Foundation is a “big Tent” operation that appeals to everyone from snake handlers and trigger-happy gun paranoids—to the 24-carat gold potty mouthed spiritual leaders of televangelism and radio talk. The message is: Jesus wants people to live in perpetual hardship, deprived of a living wage and healthcare (remember, blight is a reoccurring biblical theme always visited on others). Meanwhile this same bunch of moral-miscreants tirelessly defend the rights of gunmen Jim Demented2who seek out soft targets because they’re sure Jesus would have carried a gun if they’d been invented yet. So with the prevailing convoluted logic, the best way for this boisterous minority to accomplish their immoral goals while kidding themselves into claiming the moral high-ground, is to shut down the government and hope that the world spins off its axis. That’ll be real freedom in their eyes: Free radical chaos theory realized.

PANDAYou can’t reach America’s far right wing through common sense nor reasoning with their “sense” of moral compass—the only way to get them to realize they’re working against everyone’s own best interests (including their own) isn’t by closing down national parks and switching-off the spy cam on the pandas at the national zoo—The only way to reach the God, Guns and Gonads crowd is to figure out how to shut down the NFL and Nascar. Then you’ll get their attention. Even delaying their Social Security checks won’t fully get their collective consciousness because a truly resourceful and self-sufficient American can always go down the ally and shoot rats, bring ‘em home and fry ‘em up like skirt steaks. Since no one has any control over the NFL (the NRA) or Nascar, they’ve shut down the government in the holy pursuit of depriving their own citizenry of the dignity of decent health—all in the name of Jesus in an effort to kneecap the black guy the nation overwhelmingly elected twice in landslides well above comfortable margins. That’s also why the GOP is so busy at work drawing-up redistricting lines so raw acreage can outvote living, breathing human beings.

TortadoAlleyTrailerPark2It is worth noting that the extreme element of the House of Representatives is bringing the nation to a screeching halt in the months that lead up to Christmas—while under the shadow of the next installment of the Debt Ceiling saga while we’re still under sequester. We’re destroying the nation’s full faith and credit—internationally—in the middle of a jobless recovery—as Christ himself would do—to confound a popularly elected black president who is backed by a legally implemented law upheld by the Supreme Court. Apparently when your worldview is so myopic that you can’t empathize with victims of Hurricane Sandy because those people were foolish enough to live close to the coastline—but you want every penny of federal assistance you can get your hands on when your trailer parks are blown away in the middle of Tornado Alley—somehow that makes sense to a certain faction in the Tea-heartland. In summation: if the person in the best position to improve your quality of life has the wrong color skin—then you go shoot rats and fry ‘em up ‘cause that’s what ‘chur made of. And then you sit yourself down on the convertible daybed and watch The Ted Cruz Show on FOX—it’s only a question of time before he becomes a paid FOX News analyst or “annihilationist.” I have no doubt he’ll find financial backing plenty of corporate sponsorship.

– Disassociated Press, 10/3/2013

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