Pope Blesses Occupy Wall Street

Pope Benedict Endorses the “Occupy Wall Street” Movement Shortly Before Stealing Santa’s Chair.  Vatican City, 10/23/2011
In a surprise announcement today from Vatican City, Pope Benedict XVI (a.k.a Herr Jozef Ratzinger) bestowed his blessing on the “Occupy Wall Street” movement while politely declining to open the Papal basement’s castaway items for an auction to end world hunger.  “While I personally identify with the plight of the poor and the downtrodden, I have no immediate plans to part with any of my cool stuff.”
Admitting the Vatican basement is filled to the brim with forgotten Renaissance masterpieces and countless artifacts of jewel-encrusted gold, the Pontiff went on to say, “I must respect the sanctity of all the drag and bling acquired by my predecessors in case some of it looks good on me for evening-wear.”   
When pressed as to what he might personally do to ease the financial burden of the world’s poor, the Pope suggested, “People should give birth to more male children, as males don’t grow-up to have babies.”   On being asked to elaborate about how this might improve world poverty, God’s own Representative Here on Earth unveiled a new program where parents visiting Rome could – for a small fee – drop-off their children to enjoy a special Vatican sleep-over, allowing parents to enjoy a worry-free night on the town.   (Hey, if Michael Jackson could pull it off…)
Down-playing a series of recent scandals, including the one where high-ranking Vatican officials were implicated in a Cosa Nostra scheme involving rigged ATM machines, the Pope assured parents interested in taking advantage of the Vatican’s ‘Over-night Daycare Services’ would be allowed to pay via all major credit cards with limited-offer discounts for boys under 12.  Turning the color of his own red Prada shoes, the holy Father added “Each and every child, especially the little boys will be given individualized attention on how to best receive the holy sacraments.” 
- Dissociated Press, 10/23/2011

4 thoughts on “Pope Blesses Occupy Wall Street

  1. While Kudos for pointing out the hypocrisy of his unholiness's blessing OWS, can anyone explain to me WHY this cults world leader is considered worth listening to?
    The Roman Catholic Church has shown that they are a freeloading bunch of pedophile hypocrites that are all about greed, hidden perversion, and power and nothing about spirituality, faith, or enlightenment.
    To the Christians of the world, stop giving this old NAZI your money, there are better charities out there to do good in the world, and you cannot buy your way into "Heaven".

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