WinnieToons 2012 Year End Cavalcade of Embarrassments. Blog to Close at the Year’s End.

WinnieToons is going into retirement, and quietly bowing out. We’ve decided to leave the wonderful world of non-profit blogs, because, they’re, well unprofitable. The blog is “non-profit” because the Google freaks for four years now refuse to allow us to monetize. No reason, so human being to whom one can appeal. Just the simple word: “NO” via email auto-reply, end of sentence. Now Mark Zuckerfuck has added a “promote” option to Facebook in an effort to lose even more money for investors and any other sucker idiotic enough to give him funding. I’m not about to PAY Facebook to promote a blog that isn’t allowed to earn money. Prior to the the introduction of Facebook’s “promote” option WinnieToons saw about 100 visitors a day, and our record day for 2012 was 5,422 visitors on March 17th for a post titled, “Barack Obama Learned Early There’s a Lot Less Traffic on the High Road.” It’s been a good, four year run. It’s left us every bit as pocket poor as when we started, but we certainly got a lot off our chests in the process. Now, without further ado, here are fifty-two highlights from one fascinating year: 2012.

2012 started where 2011 left off with a clown car full of incompetent nitwits battling it out to become the GOP candidate for president.

Michele Bachmann’s inspirational rise to the national spotlight proved that even the intellectually challenged have an opportunity to rise to power.

Rick Santorum, while not the brightest bulb posed for any number of homosexual-thrilling photo-opps, from wearing a shocking pink suit to going down on a chocolate ice cream cone, the nation’s most infamous homophobe got in touch with his inner screaming queen.

Speaking of cleaning out the closet, Rick Perry all too willingly demonstrated his technique. There were far too many GOP hopefuls going down on phallic food to cover them all, but they all put something tubular in their mouths, leaving a bitter tasting in ours.

Newt Gingrich tried to reemerge as relevant while doing his level best to draw attention away from his past indiscretions and pass himself off as a religious family man who just happened to divorce two of his former wives once they became gravely ill.

On the subject of one wife too many, Mitt Romney’s Mormon family history came to light about how his ancestors defected away from America to preserve their family tradition of bigamy. So the man who wanted Mexican workers to “self-deport” was himself the son of a man (who also ran for president) but was born in Mexico. And yes, Obama was born in Hawaii.

Mitt Romney had his struggles in the South Carolina primary. But Tea party favorite, Senator Jim DeMint defected from his seat in the Senate to become the president of the Heritage Foundation, where he can do much more damage to America than he can from working within the government. Plus, now earn a whopping ONE MILLION DOLLARS per year or better.

Since 2012 was a presidential election year with a black incumbent president, the Republican Party, rather than accepting that America’s changing demographic is becoming increasingly cafe olé, sought to legalize voter suppression laws.

Eventual GOP presidential candidate, Mitt Romney failed to be forthcoming with his tax returns, as it is largely suspected he took advantage of a tax amnesty program in order to avoid prosecution for tax evasion.

John Boehner, as the Speaker of an all white House of Representatives, has an appreciably darker “tan” than our black president whom he perpetually sought to confound.

The GOP primary race got ugly. Real ugly, and to the detriment of the entire party. All the candidates did was provide spectacular ammo for the Democrats to use against Romney in the general election, using their own words.

While moon colonization may someday be in America’s future, especially if we keep fouling the planet on which we were born; moon colonization wasn’t exactly a top priority for the struggling American voter as 2012 political talking points go.

In 2012, the Queen of England pinched out yet another “jubilee.” Betty Windsor has been sitting on the throne since Jesus was in middle-school. Perhaps adding prunes to her diet might help.

Meanwhile, back in the US of A, Mitt Romney’s endless search for relevance led his stream of consciousness to blather on about the height of trees. There is no logical explanation for anything that came out of that man’s mouth in 2012 or any other year for that matter. Don’t sing. Please don’t sing….

Congress had an all male panel discussing the fate of women’s health issues, failing to recognize that not only are men uniquely unqualified to legislate the fate of women’s bodies, women also comprise 52% of the population. A majority of votes count.

The Republican Party spent 2012 at war with itself. They didn’t know if they were not conservative enough, too conservative, or somehow attempting to be all things to all people at all times while failing miserably at everything they attempted to do.

New Jersey’s Governor, Chris Christie somewhat redeemed himself following Hurricane Sandy, but during the balance of the year he towed the party line throwing a body-block in front of his state’s efforts to legalize gay marriage.

Brash Loudmouth, or Rush Limbaugh, if you prefer, relentlessly harangued Georgetown graduate law student, Sandra Fluke over women’s health issues. Not only were the fat fool’s comments out of line, they were ill-informed and in appallingly bad taste. Not even Viagra could get his apology to be anything less than limp as he repeatedly referred to feminists as “feminazis.”

Mitt Romney’s pathetic and beleaguered campaign was continually “dogged” by the revelation that he had strapped the family’s dog, Seamus to the roof of the car for a 600 mile vacation, not exactly winning him the animal rights endorsement.

In 2012 we asked the eternal question of: “How is it that educated people can be so stupid as to never learn from history?” The greed on Wall Street and corporate America spread unabated while times got more and more difficult for ordinary citizens.

Lots of people dislike that fact that our president keeps his cool and doesn’t flip-out on foolishness coming from the right wing. I’m not one of those people. I’ve believed in Obama all along, and his strategy to allow the old guard to dole out as much rope on their own as they need to hang themselves. This was WinnieToons highest rated post in 2012.

No matter how much Bosco Mitt Romney downed, he just couldn’t become one of the guys. In fact he never quite came off as remotely human.

2012 was a banner year for Christians loosing their way. Christians failed to see the humanity in ObamaCare. They also failed to notice that there is no mention of embryonic stem cells in either testament, as the world’s population swells past an unsustainable 7 billion and counting. The also failed to grasp the sanctity of a woman’s rights to govern over her own body.

Mitt Romney proved in 2012 that he was a terrible politician, and left people wondering how in the world he succeeded as a businessman. He pandered to the extreme right by selecting Paul Ryan to appease the crazies of the far right wing.

The face of the Supreme Court became more feminine, or perhaps “feminist” in 2012 by adding Elena Kagan to the bench following Obama’s earlier appointment of “strong Latina” Sonia Sotomayor. To this day no one knows exactly what Clarence Thomas does to justify his gaseous place on the bench.

Gun tragedy continued to be an unwanted staple of the American 24 hour news cycle with the unwarranted and heartbreaking shooting of Florida youth, Treyvon Martin. Proving once again that guns don’t make us safer, only more bold and stupid. The shooter, self-appointed village idiot and “town watch” wannabe, George Zimmerman is currently in custody facing murder charges.

Flawed mathematical “wizard,” Paul Ryan, known as the “young-guns numbers man” doesn’t seem to have much of a head for math as illustrated by his flawed and controversial “Ryan Budget Plan” which helped sink the Romney presidential  ticket.

The Affordable Health Care Act of 2012 is now the law of the land. However, the aptly named ObamaCare program doesn’t take full effect until 2014. In the meantime, Obama’s signature legislation of his first term is already helping people with preexisting conditions and extending benefits to people up to the age of 27 to remain covered on their parent’s health insurance, reducing the number of people uninsured.

Dick Cheney was given a new “beating” heart. He was taken off of his artificially blood pumping machine paid for by American taxpayers, and implanted with a new heart, sans compassion, of course.

Insofar as there is no such thing as clean coal or safe offshore drilling, the world has a new greed-motivated energy scheme to contend with: FRACKING. Hydrofracking indiscriminately contaminates underground water supplies without regard for property lines. If your neighbor sells fracking rights to one of the companies spinning themselves as providing “safe, clean-burning natural gas,” then look out, your kitchen faucet might just catch fire and all your cat’s hair will fall out if the kitty drinks the water. Not good.

Mitt Romney made it a habit of offending and marginalizing the Hispanic community, and then wondered why everyone went into peels of laughter when he showed-up on Telemundo with a spray tan. He lost the Latino vote by double digits.

Hillary Clinton will be stepping down as Secretary of State at the close of 2012. She’s been one of the most effective Secretaries of State in American history, amazing even her adversaries, and potentially clearing the way for a 2016 presidential bid.

A Yemeni man affiliated with Al Quida was sentenced to life in prison for the crime of terrorism after blowing his balls off with a bomb hidden in his underwear, doing little more than rendering himself impotent in any number of ways.

The hilariously unfunny lost Marx Brother, Mark Zuckerberg actually found someone to marry him and agree to a prenuptial arrangement. Smart girl, as the little bastard’s IPO started to sink only minutes after it was launched. Best for a woman to protect her own money, especially when marrying below her station.

“Global Warming” had its name changed to “Climate Change” during 2012, at least in public perception. The year saw an unusually high incidence of storms and peculiar weather patterns, blamed as usual on God’s alleged disapproval of homosexuality. Mostly through accusations by congenital idiots like Pat Robertson who fail to notice that a disproportionate amount of God’s wrath by way of droughts, floods and tornadoes seemed to land squarely in the bible belt.

Donald Trump (shown here as represented by a mollusk in a toupee) lead the bogus charge of birtherism in a limpid attempt to discredit Barack Obama. Trump, along with fellow imbecilic casino owner, Sheldon Adelson took ‘fools’ advantage of Citizens United to waste their money on poorly thought out choices in conservative candidates.

Speaking of “Citizen’s United” (which would be more aptly named “Corporations United) utterly failed in its thinly veiled effort to unseat Barack Obama as president of the United States. In fact, the only ones who made out on the deal were advertising agencies who were given unlimited budgets to produce misleading ads with no one being held responsible for the content. It backfired, fortunately, but resulted in the most expensive presidential campaign in American history: A whopping 2 billion dollars plus, leaving Karl Rove fired from FOX News and waiting to get his kneecaps whacked.

In addition to killer storms and political infighting, 2012 saw it’s fair share of scandals both in the Catholic Church and in college football. Penn State fell into a pederast state, which is a state the Catholic Church is already familiar with. The Pope, however was also implicated in a money laundering scheme associated with the Cosa Nostra fleecing Italian citizens through the use of hidden fees at automatic teller machines. The Vatican had to endure the humiliation of having their assets frozen. Time for a fleece lined codpiece.

The summer of 2012 saw record high temperatures and prolonged heatwaves across the continent leaving much of the American Midwest in the worst drought since the Dust Bowl, which also happened to coincide with a period of national economic desperation.

As previously mentioned, 2012 saw more than its share of gun violence at the hands of crazy people ardently defended by the National Rifle Association. The NRA fails to grasp that no one is trying to take away their right to own guns or hunt (although neither of which appeal to me personally.) What needs to happen is a complete removal of all automatic weapons from out of the hands of private citizens who think it’s OK to blow-away lives in movie theaters, schools and other places where people gather. Enough already with the gun-culture bullshit.

Mitt and Ann Romney had a horse in two different races. Neither of which turned out all that well for them. They now amuse themselves by riding in their fleet of cars up and down the car elevator in one of their many lavish estates. Poor things.

“Chick-Fil-A” decided prejudice and ignorance would help make their tainted product sell to Christian conservatives. It worked, but will likely shortened the lives of those consumers with sodium and cholesterol. Personal rapture, one victim, ahem, I mean “customer” at a time.

While the economy struggles, along with the citizens most effected by it, and the infrastructure of the nation crumbling, Congress gave themselves close to 8 months worth of time off, which is not to say everyone had a perfect attendance record for the remaining four months.

Religion remained the single most divisive issue both in the United States and across the globe. At the root of every war currently in progress or throughout history, you will find somewhere therein religious differences even if greed or other dogma are in play.

Although progress was achieved in 2012 with issues like “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” Congress continues to promise American soldiers anything, and doesn’t even give them Arpege. Those who’ve served in the American military deserve not only our respect, but the fulfillment of our word to those returning from harms way. Congress is overwhelmingly populated with individuals who have never served in the military, nor have offspring who do. It’s time to stop using the future generations as cannon fodder and send Congress to war.  Alone.

The most appalling and ethnically insensitive campaign of 2012 was waged, in my opinion, by former Senator Scott Brown’s supporters. Brown was quite rightly defeated by consumer advocate, Elizabeth Warren, who will be sitting on the Senate Banking Committee. Scott Brown, on the other hand, sat in the pocket of the banking industry. And by the way, not everyone of Native American heritage looks like Geronimo. Most American’s with Native American backgrounds are mixed with other ethnicities, and their heritage should never be used as a divisive political tool.

Granted, Obama’s first debate performance was less than stellar, but at least he didn’t win by lying. Rumor had it during the 2012 election that all political parties were after the elusive “swing voter.” Personally, I can’t think of a single person dimwitted enough to have been “on the fence” during this past election cycle. The choice came down to priorities and personal best interests. One party represented the uber-wealthy 2%, and the other represented the remaining 98%.

For once in her life, Ann Coulter was right. No, make that correct, she’s always been on the side of the “right.”

Hurricane Sandy made both climate change and human catastrophe become up-close and personal for America’s Eastern Seaboard. The storm also showed us Chris Christie’s better angels and angles. Not to mention how comforting it was in a time of such overwhelming distress to see a spirit of bipartisanship between a Democratic president and a Republican governor; especially after four years of political partisanship and bickering between the parties.

Barack Obama’s reelection was a victory for common sense and an utter defeat for late night comedians.

With all the issues people expressed about allowing openly gay soldiers to serve in the military (citing sexuality concerns) how ironic it it that it turns out to be the heterosexuals who don’t know how to keep it zipped(?) Especially if the one doing the unzipping has been elevated not only to the level of a four star general, but then later made head of the CIA. What a bad soap opera that scandal this has been.

As the year winds down, and WinnieToons bids a fond farewell, not only to the world of blogging, but to an unforgettable year we’d all like to forget; What more appropriate way to make our exit than by dropping off whatever faithful readers remain, on the precipice of a terrifying fiscal cliff. Goodbye, and it has been and wonderful four year ride. We’ll miss you.

The End – Much love from Winnie, Duck & Beihl

21 thoughts on “WinnieToons 2012 Year End Cavalcade of Embarrassments. Blog to Close at the Year’s End.

  1. THE best year-end roundup I’ve ever seen. Thanks for all the great blogs & exceptionally great illustrations. How goes the book?

    I love you, “little” brother. See you next month.

    Your “big” brother.

    • I’m in a quandary about the book (which is not based on WinnieToons.) I’ve been very raw and honest in the book, which is always bound to upset people. There’s a chance publication could be delayed. I know from experience, that anything I set out to do will be a creative success and financial failure. I didn’t reach this age without figuring that out a long time ago. My life is nothing if not a series of unforeseen stags and let-downs.

    • Thank you Darleen. I don’t really want to stop doing WinnieToons, but I’ve been doing it for four years without it generating any income, however, it does consume a lot of time. I need to get serious and find something that earns me a living. For the longest time I thought I could eventually break through and get monetized, but I’m black listed by Google and no one will tell me what I did (if I did anything at all) or why.

  2. Ah Beihl, if Winnietoons is to pass into the mists, then the interwebs shall truly be that much poorer a place to dwell. I wish I had your energy and attention to a task, as my two lame attempts to start a blog both died of apathy.
    Please do, though, keep in touch. Without Winnietoons to follow your antics by, I need another lifeline to the sanity you bring to the outrageous world we live in.
    Peace, and I hope that your financial situation improves. Mine is doing its best to go into extinction. Sorry, this holiday season is making me more bitter than collard greens.

    • The secret to collard greens is adding a touch of maple syrup. I’ll miss WinnieToons too. I had to meet with a financial adviser last week as part of a “save your home” program. One of the things discussed were endeavors that take up time but don’t generate income. For the longest time I did believe I could get WinnieToons to at least get monetized, but that was blocked.

      So following a failed gift business that everyone thought was a great idea, a failed children’s book that everyone thought was a great idea, and 9 to 5 job that left me injured and diminished, and a freelance art career that just kept my head above water, it’s time to regroup and rethink things. I was so enthusiastic about this blog when I first started it, I cranked out two and three cartoons a day along with an essay or two. No one reads except for you and a few others. Reading is too much effort when people can numb their minds watching the antics of the Kardashians for some mysterious reason. I’m writing a book now (as if that were a practical idea) but it’s even more absurd: I’m writing two at once. I’m not holding my breath about the financial success of either. I’ll just keep painting portraits of people’s children and hope that something better comes to mind.

      We’ll stay in touch. I’m not disappearing completely.

  3. YOU can’t justify the time it took to blog? You think WE can justify the time it took to read? And to laugh? And to think?! Sheesh.

    You had a great run, and we will miss you! (Book? What book?)

    • Hey Dave – I’m writing a book titled “An Early Work Late in Life” which is about my years from late college to first being on my own. My first lover was another artist named Danny Allen. He took his life at age 28, while I was working at the Rochester Memorial Art Gallery. I gave one of his paintings to the museum for the permanent collection, posthumously in his memory, and it was rediscovered. He was brilliant, but very troubled. There was no written history on him, no one knew who he was or how they got the painting; and 40 years later, Danny’s little painting, named “Sunny Ducks” is being included in an exhibit opening March 15th, 2013 called “Art From the Vault.”

      The MAG contacted me after a search, and asked me to provide information about the art and Danny Allen. It turned into a book about his and my life together during the sex, drugs and rock and roll years of early gay liberation. It’s also the story of why I moved to Philadelphia and what I was leaving behind. The MAG has requested a copy of the book to be kept with the painting for future reference.

      • Bill, your book is quite timely — look at the great reviews for Patti Smith’s book _Just Kids_ about her time with Robert Mapplethorpe in NYC of the late 1960s. (No, I’m not saying I’m comparing you to Patti Smith. Or to Mapplethorpe.) When it’s published, let me know and I’ll buy a copy.

        • It’s funny you should say that, because Eva Weiss, who is central to the book, made the same observation between both books. Distribution and marketing are going to be a huge challenge, since I’m self-publishing.

  4. i’ll miss romping about the internet with winnie.

    thanks for all the laughs. and for plucking me from back yard obscurity and making me a star.

    • Thanks Cade. It was disappointing not to be able to monetize the blog, but the last straw was Facebook making me undo continual word/number scrambles just to circulate the blog to like-minded political pages. If I can’t even drive traffic to my “for free” blog, then I had to get real and face the fact that none of what I was doing was propelling me forward. I hate walking away from it. I feel like I’ve just stabbed my two best friends. But I have to focus on getting some work instead of living in a fantasy world. I did go into my own world when I worked on this blog. And I did believe in it.

      • Beihl, I am curious. I know that whatever you did that pissed off Google (which, to me, is a noble venture in its own right) prevented monitizing on Blog-Spot, but why is that a problem here on WordPress? I thought this was NOT a Google product, so Google’s issues should not follow, should they?

        • Google sort of has the corner on the market when it comes to monetizing blogs even if you’re not using one of their blog templates. There could be several things that landed me on the blacklist: Google places ads based on key words, so blithering idiots like Newt Gingrich, Sarah Palin and The Family Research Council wound up advertising on my blog: the very sorts of people and organizations I was poking vicious barbs toward. That’s only a guess. There’s no way to know for sure. If you call Google AdSence, they send you to the website, when you go to the website, you’re directed to an email that tells you to call or trawl through a list of options that have nothing to do with the issue. Now that FB is making me unscramble case-sensitive letters and number with wavy lines going through them, I just decided “fuck it,” life is too short.

  5. I Thank you for the imformative and biting posts you did. Im sorry to see the duck and dog go… Thanks for helping to counter the tea-party idiots. Good Luck in your future ideas.

    • Thanks Allen. I’ve really had mixed feelings about ending the blog. It feels like I’m abandoning my two best friends, but one of them is curled up at my feet, snoring even as I write this. Who knows, maybe once I get other life obligations completed, and have more time, perhaps I’ll reinvigorate the “staff” for some future posts. You never know. But thank you for reading and following WinnieToons.

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