Like Mike Huckabee…. like Chris Christie…. like Rand Paul…. like Rick Santorum…. like Condoleezza Rice…. liken all the way up to Paul Ryan…. Each and every one of them went through the motions of perfunctorily endorsing Mitt Romney for one reason and one reason only: To get nationally televised sound-bites they can later use when making their own presidential television commercials in the run-off leading up to the 2016 race.
No one likes Mitt Romney and no one trusts him.
No one is enthusiastic about him, and no one really wants him to win, fearing the risk of Romney becoming a two term president, thus further delaying everyone else’s collective political ambitions. The only introductory speaker who wasn’t actively focusing her eye on the 2016 presidential race was poor, simple Ann Romney. Condoleezza Rice went so far as to blatantly state her aspirations outright – nearly as if she was thinking aloud and forgotten she was speaking directly into a microphone. Condi’s rehearsed the words “Madam President” in the reflection of her medicine cabinet mirror for years…. but Ms. Rice is not alone; each and every Mitt Romney endorser in his or her own conniving way talked more about themselves than their candidate. Each in turn limply sung the praises of the titular head of the Republican Party only so they’d be able to speak at the Convention about what they care about most: Themselves.
None of the future GOP hopefuls wants to challenge an established Romney Administration in 4 years, and all of them realize there’s no way the economy is going to turn around quickly enough (should they win) so as to NOT leave the impression on 2016 voters that the GOP is doubly responsible for the nation’s myriad of short-falls and financial woes. There isn’t a Republican out there who genuinely wants a thing to do with governing this country until after someone else has restored and repaired it. Then, and only then can those politicians get rich by re-breaking America all over again. Every single future GOP presidential hopeful realizes the nation is far more “broke” (and broken) than anyone wants to admit, and it happened on the GOP’s watch, which is historical and inarguable fact. Every one of them realize their party is better off with Obama getting reelected to a second term if only to shorten their own waiting period before hats are re-tossed into the 2016 GOP presidential ring. Not that the GOP wouldn’t feign jubilation were Romney to win – but it would present a huge stumbling block in the paths of other ambitious Republicans hungry for power.
While wearing-out the phrase, “We Can Do Better,” Mike Huckabee made reference to the GOP not messing up “this time” if the voting public gave them a chance, making a subconscious acknowledgement of how the Republicans are indeed the ones who got us into our national fiscal mess….
In swaggers Paul Ryan confidently striking a delicate balance between the “awe-shucks” boy next door and Medicare’s own Jack the Ripper. Note to all politicians: When you’re on record as wanting to gut Medicare, push your mother out in front of you so senior citizens won’t think they’re about to get screwed. The Vice Presidential pick dripped with honey-toned lies while the Republican man-crush he enjoys left true believers moist in their seats. Ryan turned in a damned good performance addressing the RNC Convention – the key words being “damned” and “performance.” Of course nothing he said checks out with reality and recorded facts, but the 2012 Republican Party is not to be deterred by the truth.
Remember, the GOP is running a Stepford suit mannequin at the top of the ticket….
Condoleeza Rice made sense when she spoke about unpopular topics like, not allowing our public school system go down the toilet – greeted by a small smattering of polite applause from a delegation of caged crickets outside the revival tent. Condi’s words were true and sincere when she spoke about a variety of domestic issues she normally avoids. So sincere, that she nearly came across as sending a subliminal message to voters that they should reelect Barack Obama. Or perhaps she’s dreaming of playing a game of feminist-presidential-transformer-dragon-ninja-warriors opposite Hillary Clinton in 2016?
But get real. The 2012 election is already a lost cause for Republicans. Frankly more viewers were tuned-in to hear updates on Hurricane Issac than to witness how Mitt Romney would look and sound if placed in Walt Disney’s display of talking, animated wax presidents.
But before Mitt got to speak, we were treated to Newt and Callista Gingrich reading “tag-team” off a teleprompter extolling the memory of Ronald Regan, sounding for all the world like a pair of Oscar presenters accepting the ‘Irving G. Thalberg Award” for posthumous presidential achievement in mythological revisionist history.
Oh the anticipation, still waiting for Mitt Romeny to deliver a speech in his own words….
Mitt’s son, Craig Romney, looking curiously sexy and Latin spoke in Spanish to prove that no one knows anyone’s genetics when you’re of historic Mormon lineage in a family who expatriated themselves to Mexico in order to avoid bigamy laws. Craig’s kinda cute. So what? So are a lot of people….
Then the crowd went wild for Jeb Bush since Daddy Bush I and Baby Bush II must have had other plans. Bush I and Bush II were only available via video tape – during which time George Herbert Walker Bush looked somewhere between confused, embarrassed, humiliated and on the verge of tears. In good family tradition, Jeb did his level best to exonerate his idiot brother and pin the nation’s troubles on the black dude. He then set-up and knocked-down the public school system winding things up with the stirring words of “Got Milk?” Jeb equated privatizing education with choosing lactose-free dairy products at your local supermarket as opposed to purchasing whole chocolate milk. Then he duped a black student to read scripted words. Cute. A little manipulative but cute in a sickening sort of way. Jeb would like to be president someday too. His mother, Barbara wants him to be president as well so she can be the first American woman to have at least three presidents pass through her vagina: Quality of leadership notwithstanding.
More Romney anticipation…. The crowd’s lids are growing heavy….
The last course of action was to show a visual arts presentation/film-strip and then wheel-out the living legendary carcass of Clint Eastwood who charmed the audience by gasping out a string of incoherent words and going all “senior dementia” on live TV, talking to an empty chair. The man’s 85, don’t trot him out like a curiosity. Even I felt sorry for him. Marco Rubio spared Mr. Eastwood further embarrassment by stepping forward to remind everyone he’s Cuban and the GOP’s not doing well with the Latino vote – then as an afterthought he introduced the candidate himself: Willard Mitt Romney.
Finally Romney made his way past delegates shaking hands and smiling his sneaky smile, stepping up to the podium, reading from the prompter, he treated constituents to a damned good impersonation of Elmer Gantry…. Nothing of substance was addressed. It didn’t matter. America had already fallen fast asleep….