Come One, Come All: Forfeit Your Life Savings to Bail Out Mark Zuckerberg – You KNOW He’d Do the Same Thing for You…

I’m sorry, but I can’t get all worked-up about Facebook’s IPO going all ‘pubic.’  It’s an adolescent company, things like that should be expected.  That doesn’t make me want to purchase stock.  In fact Facebook “enjoyed” a lukewarm reception on the stock exchange.  Zuckerfuck got to ring the trading bell.  Truth be told, I’ve only ever clicked-on an ad on Facebook by accident and I’m not stupid enough to buy ad space on that puffed-up gaseous waste of time.  Facebook is valued by it’s advertising revenue, and you can’t prove by me it’s effective.  I’ve only ever clicked-on an internet ad on ANY site by accident.  We all know internet ads are cyber-skank no matter what they’re hawking.  The damned ads will jump-out in front of your cursor just as you’re trying to click out of something.  Freakin’ things are magnetic.  Every dirtball has some kind of way to make money off the internet.  It’s all quicksilver money in a rip-off fantasy land of Angry Birds and Mad Cowville.  I manage my own blog that makes absolutely no money whatsoever.  Not that I don’t need money – I do – it’s more of a case of no one will allow me to monetize — which depending on how you look at it, seems only fair, as I’d never click-on an ad on a site like this myself.  God knows what you could catch…  And you need to consider the health and safety of your computer too.

But if pigs have wings, and I’ve heard they do, what would you do if offered a choice between an evening of dinner and dancing with the ‘Winklevoss tvins, da’ Vinklewozz tvinz?’  OR handing over your hard-earned money to Mark Zuckerturd so he can get even freakin’ richer?  The answer to that question is a matter of taste, moral fiber and circumstances.  My personal circumstances are bleak, but my tastes run more toward the twins.  Forget my moral fiber, I simply can’t abide Mark Zuckerbelch.  That little punk mo-fo is shamelessly rolling-around naked in money we ALL know he he didn’t come by scrupulously.  NO ONE AWARDS $65 MILLION DOLLARS to ANY complainant when they’re innocent.  Zuckermuck isn’t even 30 years old yet and there are already books and motion pictures depicting him as the soulless new J. Montgomery Burns.  Suppose you were given only one week to live, but were guaranteed seven days of quality life in the company of Tyler and Cameron Winkelvoss…  (OK they have weird, androgynous names, but at least they don’t answer to ‘Apple’ or ‘Blanket.’)  Part of the deal is the twins are picking-up all the checks and seem more than eager to grant your every wish.  Cut ‘em a break, remember, they had to settle for a measly $65 million after loosing their intellectual property to a conscience-free little jackal.  Zuckerfuuk left those poor handsome boys with only $32.5 million per tragic hunk — cursed to go through life looking like mirror-image Greek gods — only with a better personal economy.  After all, how much money does a person really need when you look like those two?

OR you could infuse more cash in Mark Zuckerpuck’s pussy bank.

By this point even straight dudes are tempted to turn experimental.  No one wants to see Mark Zuckerblaag rack-in one single, solitary penny more.  We’ve all seen the ‘Social Network’ — now where’s his ‘social conscience?’  Not that the Vinklevozz twinks have a social conscience either, but who cares?  They’re a like a Thomas Eakins painting in motion.  You’re seeing double to the point where there’s a minty-fresh taste in your mouth and you’re tingling all over.  Perhaps it was merely a short circuit in your desk lamp… but maybe it was more?  Picture the Vinkylevoth twinths driven to fisticuffs, fighting with each other for your affections…

…OR you could hand your life-savings over to Mark Zuckamutha.

The choice is yours, but the scary thing is one of three already has your number and and all your personal information — and it isn’t one of the Winklefeck tvinch.

I am just about tapped-out and sick of Facebook.  I’m continually blocked by them when I’m not doing anything wrong.  I circulate my blog to like-minded sites and I get an error message saying “We’ve warned you before about making spammy and irrelevant posts.”  First-off who the hell is their master ‘artificial intelligence’ hard-drive to tell me what I’m posting is irrelevant?  And furthermore, there is no such word as “spammy” and there never will be in literate company.  You’d think I’d be used to this by now — I’ve also been censored by the evil Google freaks — and YES, they ‘do-be’ evil.  Hell, I’m not even trying to steal anything.  Nor am I allowed to earn an honest living online either.  Everything I try to do on the internet is kaboshed by some digital gestapo.

The world should not governed by brainless rules enforced through electronic hard-drives with no human monitors to whom you can appeal your case.  Once ostracized, this insures your permanent status as a outsider.  When you’re relegated to a ‘timeout’ in the internet ‘sandbox’ you bear the mark of a cyber pariah forever.  I’ve never made a single penny off this blog and no one’s made any money off of me.  It’s a beautiful thing.  My freedom of speech is to express myself in my posts however I please — and Facebook’s freedom of speech is to censor mine and prevent me from posting on like-minded sites.  I’m not allowed to so much as give-off the appearance of earning a living.  Welcome to the cowardly new world where a peon remains a peon.  It’s the new American dream.  Just don’t peon the surge protector where your laptop’s plugged-in.   It’s been known to happen.  Shocking.  And I’d still prefer the company of the Winklevoss hunks to that Zuckerfreak creep.

PS – I despise the way the new Facebook ‘message’ tool doesn’t keep track of unread messages.  Did it say 15 messages when I clicked-on it?  Or did it say 13?  Everything about the Timeline is poorly thought-out.  We should all consider weaning ourselves off this enormous waste of time.

3 thoughts on “Come One, Come All: Forfeit Your Life Savings to Bail Out Mark Zuckerberg – You KNOW He’d Do the Same Thing for You…

  1. i think a winklevoss-duck sandwich would have more lasting value than facebook shares. but that’s just randy little ol’ me.

  2. Can I opt for “None of the Above”?

    The Twinkle-toes twins do nothing for me, and I prefer keeping my hoard stacked up around me like a proper dragon should. FuckerBorg is about as human as Willard R-Money.

    And if anybody cares, R-Money’s slavering drool over raping another company (and the nation) has finally driven me to register with the Socialist Party. I’ll vote the D ticket this time, because the results would be worse than tragic if we went R or the D ticket got split by Third Partiers. But I plan to work vigorously to take down the whole capitalist greed rape schema.

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