This week the CIA announced a thwarted a plot by the exclusive al-Qaida men’s underwear manufacturer and design-house known as ‘Ibrahim of Yemen.’ The planned commercial launch was to blow-up an American-bound jetliner using a chic new form-fitting design for gentlemen’s foundations that is both comfortable and guaranteed to mess-up your junk forever.
This year’s collection is an upgrade of the underwear-bomb that failed to detonate over Detroit during Christmas of 2009. The new line of men’s briefs were designed by celebrated Yemeni designer, Ibrahim Hassan al-Asiri and are much easier to maneuver while going-potty. Ibrahim boasted of a more refined detonation system, and a snug fit that comfortably cups your family jewels before blowing them to smithereens.
The new line of Yemen based suicide-underwear has not yet picked a target but hopes to be available soon at Target and other chain stores hawking goods not made by workers here in the United States. This latest line of men’s undergarments was launched in time to coordinate with the one year anniversary of Osama Bin Laden’s untimely demise. According to one source close to the designer “Osama would have been so proud of both the fit and the way the new device, I mean garment, fills out a gentleman’s basket during those precious moments before blowing his balls off.”
Counterterrorism fashion-officials damned the new look with faint praise saying, “We’ve seen this same design before worn by Wiley E. Coyote and consider it as just another style rip-off.” The ‘explosive’ new briefs are already available on store shelves in Taizz where gentleman are encouraged to try them on for size and practice detonating them during group al-Qaida bachelor parties – in Yemen of course. If attendees will be so kind as to send out invitations via internet ‘chatter’ then special drones can be sent to really ‘mix-it-up’ at your next party, hazing or other social gatherings. Ask all your friends with ties to al-Qaida — no one makes hot-pants like ‘Ibrahim of Yemen.’