The WinnieToons 2010 Hall of Shame

Still alive and counting against all reasonable odds, Dick & Zsa Zsa.

There is no point in avoiding the truth – 2010 was a mess.  So much so it almost felt like we were still in the Bush years.  I’ve had a difficult time narrowing down my favorite WinnieToons into a year-end collection.  BUT rather than dwelling on a morbid tribute to who DIED in 2010 – We’re taking astonished aim at the idiots and ideology unexplainably still alive.

The Health Care Bill is still alive, but the ‘Public Option isn’t.  Dick Cheney is living artificially through the wonders of modern medicine without a pulse, while Zsa Zsa is being prepared for taxidermy to be placed in a tableau-vivant from one of her “classic” films.  Hopefully “Queen of Outer-space”.
The ‘wedge’ issue is still alive and kicking and tearing America apart at the seams.  Be it gays in the military, abortion or any issue that involves someone else’s crotch, low information voters can’t get enough wedgies.
Pope Benedicthead XVI is still kickin’ in his red Prada shoes.  This has been a banner year for the former Hitler-youth turned world “spiritual” leader.  He’s been implicated in numerous clergical sex-scandal cover-ups – and now he’s been caught red-handed in a Mafia scheme using priests as front-men for the Cosa Nostra where automatic-teller-machine, perpetrated a robbery on the Italian public.  Now there’s a stairway to heaven’.  Just sayin’…
Racial prejudice and ethnic profiling are alive and well in their headquarters in Arizona.  Gov.Jan Brewer is still alive even though she nearly beheaded herself with lies and moments of ‘brain-freeze’.
No matter how many good people pray for a career ending injury, Eagle’s quarterback, Michael Vick is suddenly and undeservedly old Saint Vick.
Greed is still alive and well.  Here Winnie explains Wall Street for Dummies.
Incompetence is thriving with no sign of letting-up especially in the financial sector.
Government cover-ups and public-service in the pockets of lobbyists, is as healthy as it ever was.
Lest we forget the ‘Great Oil-Spill of 2010′ Offshore drilling is still alive and kicking the crap out of the environment.  No one has learned their lessons, and Sarah Palin is too stupid to learn anything.  The damage just keeps on damaging – both Sarah’s and the oil spill’s.
The nation’s demand for oil has yet to abate in spite of the profits going to countries who’d love to see us annihilated
Felons in high places remain unpunished.
But we can keep on hoping…
And still the gulf and it’s residents are suffering. They barely got to their knees following Katrina. Makes you wonder what role environmental racism plays?
Like so many optimistic politicians before him, President Obama went to Washington with hope in his soul and wound-up with soap in his hole.  It happens…
The bed-bugs are going strong – oh, wait, that’s congressional constipation, not bed-bugs.
The “Birthers” will never die, nor will nonsensical conspiracy theorists.
Blithering idiots were voted into power. Thanks low-information voters !
Rush Limbaugh hasn’t yet dropped-dead from a lightening-strike due to lying, but now there’s hope he might suffer the big one while getting laid. The old gasbag is still polluting the airwaves unabated.
In 2010 – the dumber you were, the more air-time you got.  No surprises there.
America, the land founded on religious freedoms nationally conspired to deny that freedom to others based on irrational fear, and in doing so diminished themselves.
The same idiots who hold 9/11 heroes on a pedistal when convenient, also fought tooth and nail to stop the 9/11 1st Responder Hero’s Bill.  It took Jon Stewart to shake the Senate to their hollow core.
The war in Iraq sort of ended and sort of didn’t.  Afghanistan is still raging-on.
Don’t Ask Don’t Tell is sort of over.  Just don’t tell anyone while showering in the barracks.
Without regard to sexual persuasion, insurance companies gypped surviving family members of soldier’s insurance policies to boost their bottom line. Greed never dies.
Prop 8 in California, died then lived then died again.  I WILL go down eventually.
In 2010 Michelle Bachmann was appointed to the 2011 “House Intelligence Committee” – That would be funny on it’s own if it weren’t so frightening.
Perennial loosing Delaware candidate, Christine O’Donnell is still flying-high in spite of a probe into financial wrong-doing during her failed run for congress.  My guess is she’ll ‘twitch’ her bewitched little nose and become a FOX News “analyst” or nihilist.
Grass-roots being too messy, environmental cannibals and capitalist pigs invent the “AstroTurf” movement known as the Tea-Party for manipulating mental midgets.
The Palin Family Soap Opera saw the on-again off-again romance of Bristol and Levi Johnson – who modestly covered his Johnson for Playgirl.  He “cheated” on Bristol.
Mama Grizzly shot a reindeer on prime time national TV so children everywhere could share in the moment.  She should do her next reality TV show with Michael Vick.
With the on-going death of intelligent life on earth, people listened to Glenn Beck while paying no attention to Stephen Hawking.
Michael Steel only opened his mouth to change feet, but somehow he guided the republican’t party to a major victory in the House – in SPITE of little accidents like the donations-line connecting moral-majority contributors to a phone-sex line AND the scandal of taking young republicans to a lesbian strip-bondage club.  They fired the bookkeeper like shooting the messenger.
While greed on Wall Street led to the mortgage melt-down, CitiGroup founder Sandy Weil, now retired comfortably, thank you, led the charge by hurling money at congress through lobbyists to reform the Glass-Steagle Act of 1933 – enacted to prevent the current crisis we face.  1 in 4 homes are in foreclosure, including mine — for the short-term profit of putting all your eggs in one basket – and selling bets on foreclosures as a legitimate financial product.
Jullian Assange brought about the death of privacy to “mixed” results.
Some people thought privacy died with the new airport surveillance systems.  Really, nobody cares what your genitals look like in Xray format. Go for the cavity search.
So as we bid a tearful goodbye to 2010, let us not forget:

FOOLS WILL NEVER DIE – HAPPY NEW YEAR – AND MAY GOD (or someone) HELP US ON OUR 2011 PATH TO THE END OF THE MAYAN CALENDAR IN 2012.

3 thoughts on “The WinnieToons 2010 Hall of Shame

  1. People never cease to amaze me. I think you all should learn to take a nap during the day to be rested up enough to stalk the wild food dish. Or at least to pay attention to what the Immoral Minority is doing to you in the polls. Maybe if you institute an IQ test to both run for office and vote? I know that would rule out most of the rural southeast, but still do you need Bubba Gump in the senate? They say we get what we deserve, and if people cannot be bothered to understand the issues and would rather run in fear of wedge issues, 2010 will keep happening, like Groundhog Day. I'll now lay back and listen to the protests over my characterization of the "Old South", tell it to the paw.

  2. Each year that passes, I think – DAMN – what a fucked-up year. I get fucked-up on New Years Eve, and the next thing you know it's the following New Years Eve and nothing's changed. Perhaps if I were sober…

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