History According to Michele Bachmann

Michele Bachmann is a certifiable imbecile.  She thinks no further than the end of her nose, and shoots off her mouth like the loose cannon she is.  Heaven help us if she ever runs for president.  It would however be an entertaining cat-fight between she and Sarah Palin – TV ratings everyone.

Back when Bush was the president, you could count on the State of the Union address to be a careful blend of scary-stupid and downright funny-frightening.  President Obama speaks in full coherent sentences and has an actual PLAN – whether all Americans agree with him or not.  I happen to agree with him.  Without Bush in the picture, all the high-pitched comedy is coming from Michele Bachmann and the far-right wing Tea Party.  

In Bachmanesque fashion, Michele thinks “the ‘founding fathers’ fought valiantly to end slavery”.  She said so kinda not looking into the camera but rather somewhere else in outer-space.  I’m not sure she knew where the camera was.  Or perhaps she doesn’t realize when she speaks aloud, people can hear her.  Maybe she thinks if you look away from the camera no one can see her either.  Does that woman run her ‘factoids past anyone first?  Isn’t there at least some misguided neo-con intern willing to do some research for her?  I mean at a bare minimum look it up on Wikipedia for Christ’s sake.  No, not Michele.  She’s blithely unaware the founding fathers wrote into the constitution that a slave was property and merely represented 3/5th’s of a person.  Pretty unsettling stuff if you have a moral conscience.


I personally feel that Thomas Jefferson did have a moral conscience.  No man capable of such powerful and enlightened words as drafted by his hand could possibly be so morally bankrupt in that part of his heart.  Jefferson’s words are truest to himself in the Declaration of Independence – “We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.”  

On the other hand, the Constitution is more decree by committee, if you will…  But I can easily see Jefferson as a product of the social attitudes of his time.  In the 18th century a high-born white man didn’t love a black woman out before the judgmental eyes of the whole world.  It was impossible.  People couldn’t openly declare their love the way mixed-race couple can today (in more enlightened blue-states, that is…)  In the 18th century it was difficult enough to court within your own race while crossing social boundaries without it becoming a scandal.  America has always been sexually repressive and zealously religious.  Bad combination.  I’ve often speculated as to whether Sally Hemings wasn’t in reality the great love of Thomas Jefferson’s life – and I’m not the first to wonder that.  The truth of their secret lay in the souls of those two lovers, for none of us ever to know for sure.


Progress is never fast enough for those who are living through it.  I see that as a gay man.  But as a little boy I remember traveling with my parents to visit the historic reconstruction of Williamsburg and stopping to eat in a Virginia restaurant where there were separate dining areas and restrooms for black and white patrons.  And that, mind you, was 180 years AFTER we declared our independence from King George III.  Even as a kid I was struck by how odd and uncomfortable that segregation felt.  My schoolmates were of all races, and my parents didn’t raise me with a racially prejudiced worldview.  Thankfully they were progressive in that respect, even back in the 1950’s when I was at my most impressionable.  


But does Michele Bachmann have a clue about the Civil War or the racial tensions of the 1960’s fully 100 years later?  Not only is she ill-informed, dizzy-eyed and talking in circles, this madwoman is doing liberals a great favor by drawing attention away from more coherent but equally disagreeable republicans.  For her to claim our founding fathers did much more than worry about the future so far as slavery was concerned — is like Mitch McConnell coming out against earmarks after a career history of abusing them.  Speaking of disagreeable republicans…

Doe-eyed Paul Ryan’s official republican rebuttal was all but eclipsed by Bachmann’s nonsense.  She’s fracturing her own party and I couldn’t be more pleased.  

Paul Ryan is easier to look-at, but not so easy to listen to.  Ryan has dreamy eyes and nightmare ideas – like privatizing Social Security.  Wait until that sinks-in with the aging baby-boomers.  Both Bachmann and Ryan are opposed to all sorts of “entitlement programs” – Social Security, unemployment, Medicare and Medicaid.  As if “entitlement” were a dirty word.  They’re called “entitlements” because we PAID into them our whole lives making us therefore ENTITLED to them.


As “entitled” as a brilliant young black president, who happens to be a Constitutional scholar trying against all odds to unify us as a people so as to lead our country forward.  I would speculate Thomas Jefferson would identify more with the words of Barack Obama than with the greedy, shallow-thinkers of today’s extreme right-wing.


No wonder the Texass ‘Bored’ of Education wants to write him out of our history books.  Both Jefferson AND Obama that is.

7 thoughts on “History According to Michele Bachmann

  1. Odd, he seems like he'd fit into the Texass Bored from Edumacation SO well. The ignorance, the arrogance. One and the same. I wonder if I can find a lawyer to take a gross negligence case against the human race for allowing toxic waste like that idiot to exist. More and more every day I see reasons why humanity has outlived its shelf life. Stupidity is on the rise, as greed expands and those who don't contribute demand they get their share of the rewards. I can so easily see why some become hermits.

  2. That was just stupefying to me. Flat-line your company and get rewarded for it, and the government is saying that is the way to run banks.
    Since when did we become a country that rewards that rewards no performance? Did the whole 90's bit of 'teach them good self esteem, not how to excel' reach into the real world?
    This is why many countries are exceeding the US in terms of standard of living, quality of goods and educational achievement. We've become a country of 'feel good' over 'do good' If you want to teach your children to have great self esteem, teach them to excel at what they do. Yes, it is true that some kids just will not excel. Their talents are not as strong, or they truly ARE mediocre or less. Teaching them that they are performing as well as those who are talented by teaching them to feel good is lying to them. I know schools that have stopped having spelling bees because some kids lose, and they don't want the kids to feel badly because they lost. You SHOULD feel bad when you lose, that is why winning feels so good! We have taught our nation that it's more important to feel good about yourself than to do better at what you do. We have de-incentived achievement. When do we start teaching excellence again? We bemoan the ridiculous bonuses given bankers for showing false high profits and the anser is "then give them bonuses for doing NOTHING"? What about a bonus for performing well in reality? ETHICALLY and honestly performing, especially in banking is very difficult and SHOULD be rewarded (though not to such obscene levels) And failure, especially if shown to be from unethical attempts to succeed, or falsifying success, should include heavy jail time. The current view of America embarrasses me, and our forefathers. No wonder Caribou Barbie, John Bonehead and Michele Braindead are so popular right now. They pander to the "feel good" addiction of the low-information voter. We need to remember that excellence, and the esteem, both self and from others, come with excellence. You may have to work at it to find a field you excel in, but that does bring a higher level of self esteem. And it would be unshakable too. Minor setbacks won't spin you into depression

  3. I do believe there is a balance that needs to be struck between rewarding success and buffering self-esteem for more fragile personalities – especially among the young. An effective teacher is going to bring out the excellence within each child – contingent on the cooperation of the family and especially the parents.

    But there is a disconnect from my overview between excellence and the material rewards people seek at the expense of others in the adult world. That's where natural greed kicks-in, and is wrongfully rewarded. I have only to assume those qualities (or lack thereof) in adults who were not brought into 'check' while these individuals were young.

    No one says spelling bees should be rigged to make the slower student win – but there's nothing constructive about belittling anyone who's not as gifted.

  4. I agree that there is no gain by belittling those who, for whatever reason cannot perform to the standards of most. There is also no need to hobble those who are gifted to hold them back to the median either. Kids need a forum in which they can excel, and to cancel spelling bees because not every student can excel in it, is a disservice to those who do. Just as it is a disservice (mush though I hate to say it) to cancel sports because not everyone excels. I would LOVE to see a school system show as much enthusiasm for a debate team or spelling champ as it does for football, baseball or basketball. I also thing that parents should shoulder a much larger financial burden for these extra-curricular activities so that the budget can remain focused on academics. You want your shining star to shine in a brand new uniform? You buy it. Need a suit for them to go to debate in, or a thesaurus or dictionary to practice spelling with? You buy it. You need school books for math or science? THAT is where your tax dollars should go. I have heard so many times of schools forcing the teachers or parents to supply copy paper, chalk, pens and pencils and other supplies to be used by the whole class. Yet the football and baseball field get repainted often and the teams all have brand new uniforms. How about we make sure the classes have supplies and the team pay for painting the freaking field?

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