Sex and the Single Duck

So what exactly is it the Republicans don’t understand about contraception?  If they genuinely want to prevent abortions?  Then prevent pregnancy in the first place.  While you’re at it, cut down on sexually transmitted disease at the same time — not to mention the imminent threat of cross-breeding ducks with cattle.

Pure bull…

It’s difficult to make lite of the fact that we’re living in a world in crisis, populated by far too many people — an unsustainable 7 billion and counting to be precise.  But I’m not contributing to that particular problem, I’ve been a practicing homosexual for over 40 years now and hopefully someday I’ll get it right.  Be that as it may, contraception to me and mine is the unwavering use of condoms when luck comes our way.

As a gay man I have a different kind of love for women than certain heterosexual men — I possess more of a simpatico and understanding of women as human-beings — not as receptacles or baby-factories.  And of course I share a deep appreciation for really, really good women’s shoes.  No, I don’t own any…  What I do own-up to, is a reasonable grasp of what a no-brainer it is to hand over total control solely to women as stewards of the governance of their own reproductive organs.  I can’t even wrap my mind around why as a nation, we’re still fixated on this issue.  Be it the pill, Norplant, IUD’s or come what may, I rely on and recommend condoms.  Hey, I’m a gentleman of a certain age, still alive and healthy which in and of itself is a testament to their effectiveness.  Guys, take responsibility and stop bitching about how condoms are a buzz-kill when you try to get-off.  Couples should use all the birth control methods at their disposal until they’re ready to commit to a minimum of 18 years of child-rearing.

What condoms can’t do, is assist in the regulation and treatment of women’s health issues.  Don’t ask me about the particulars of what goes on down there, it’s none of my business, not to mention beyond being way too much information.  Thursday afternoon, a young woman courageously testified in front of congress by putting a human face on women’s health issues no man (short of a male gynecologist) could comprehend.  Frankly, I’ve always been secretly suspicious of male gynecologists and what compels them to pursue that particular genre of medicine — but hey, who am I to judge?  I’ve only ever seen a gynecological exam chair complete with stirrups once, and was immediately won over to it’s charms.  I’d love to have one installed my own home — with private seating’s for gentlemen guests only.  Cocktails and rectal probes all around…

To reiterate, I make no claims of knowing anything about the inner functions of female plumbing and consider ignorance to be bliss.  All I need to know, is women deserve the human liberty to determine their own choices about their own vaginas — whatever the devil goes on down there…  There could be cysts, tumors, volcanoes, amusement parks, bicycle paths and shuffle-board for all I know.  But certain forms of contraception prevent more than just pregnancy. There are health issues involving disease and disorders where contraception is key to a woman’s well-being.  The important thing is women’s health and happiness.  What this issue has become is the obvious right for a woman to own her own body free from governmental over-reach.  Any unwelcome over-reach that lands in the crotch is still a cheap, inappropriate grope.  Ladies, and ‘enlightened’ gentleman, keep that in mind when you choose which party to vote for this coming November.

Some of you might not think “Change you can believe in” is happening fast enough in other fronts like the economy.  To that, I say:  The Queen Mary doesn’t corner easily or quickly, and neither does the Ship of State.  If you vote-out Barack Obama in 2012 you’re going to learn the error of your ‘choice’ quick enough when the Ship of State is run aground by the same party who set us off course in the first place.  Obama has patience and wisdom the rest of us don’t possess…  Besides, who do you want to listen to?  Obama singing that he’s still in love with you?  Or Mitt Romney’s squeamish, off-key rendition of ‘American The Beautiful?  That WAS my favorite patriotic song, until he ruined it for me forever.  We haven’t heard Rick Santorum sing yet, but I’m in no mood to hear his rendition of “Give Me That Old Time Religion.”  It’s bad enough for me.

6 thoughts on “Sex and the Single Duck

  1. Rick Insanitorium’s comment that Jack Kennedy speaking about the necessity and wisdom of the separation of church and state made him want to throw up made me want to push for an abortion in the second half of adult life…… He is, frankly (and pardon my French) a total asshat, dipshit and insane cretin. Too bad that whack job in Tucson shot an intelligent, sensible and hard working woman like Gabby Giffords, he should have taken out this creep. I know that sounds horrible, but Santorum’s attitudes are the ones that end up with people of my faith being burned over a pile of men of your sexual alignment. We, in pure self-defense HAVE to watch this crap-turd closely to ensure he never has the authority to push any of his agenda.

  2. 1. What’s your birth control of chicoe (abstinence included)?Pills2. What is your least favorite form of birth control that you’ve used?I only used pills and condoms, and both are okay3. What kind of birth control would you refuse to ever try?abstinence 4. For how long have you been using birth control?Almost a year5. Do you remember the first kind of birth control you’ve ever used?pills6. Did you ask your mom or dad’s permission before using it?I talked to my mom, but not for permission7. Do you think gURLs under 18-years-old should have to ask their parent’s permission before using birth control?No.8. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare, despite using contraception? Explain.I was sick with flu that I got from my boyfriend and started having nausea, which he didn’t have, but it was nothing.9. Have you ever used two or more different forms of birth control at the same time?I always use condoms with pills, but for STDs.10. From who/where did you first learn about birth control?Can’t remember 11. How many different forms of birth control can you name?pills, condoms for men, condoms for women, morning-after pill, diaphragm, abstinence, safe days, withdrawal12. What kinds of birth control do your friends use, if any?pills and condoms13. Have you ever used condoms for males?yep14. Have you ever used a female condom?no, sounds weird15. Have you ever taken the Pill?yeah16. Have you ever taken the Pill for a different reason other than birth control (acne, cramps, etc.)?I sort of hoped it will enlarge my boobs, and it synchronizes the period, which is great.17. If you take the Pill, do you ever forget to take it?not since I set my phone to remind me every day18. Have you ever taken the morning after pill?no19. What do you think is the best and most responsible form of birth control for a gURL to use?pill.20. Is your religion against birth control?I’m Jewish, so yeah, sex is supposed to be only for children, but I’m not religious, so blah blah, I don’t care

    • I’m a homosexual, so birth control is not my issue. The use of contraception at the discretion of my female friends for their health and choice is the issue. Before I came-out, I got a girl pregnant, because I was so naive, that I thought (because I knew I was secretly gay) that I couldn’t actually get a girl pregnant. A lack of information available to young people sexually coming of age is another important issue. It boils down to no one having the right to dictate what other people do with their own bodies because of someone else’s religious mythology.

  3. THANK YOU.. it’s about time.. PEOPLE having kids they don’t want and they throw them on sceoity and most suffer terribly.. Please dont’ have kids, unless you CAN TAKE CARE OF THEM.. kids don’t deserve to suffer.if the catholic church is against it then, drop your kids off at the doorstep of the catholic church so they can take care of them, since they love kids so much..

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