Mitt Romney Dwarfed by Bonsai Tree In Empty Room of Lilliputians

Last night was the Arizona Republican Primary Debate, on CNN.  Speaking to a packed house of wee-little people and empty minds (a.k.a. Arizona Republican primary voters) Mitt Romney and his other adversarial crazies were given a forum to kick around, women, minorities and immigrants to bursts of applause and cheers from Stepfords and Lilliputians alike.  It’s about time someone spoke-up for the rights of both the Lilliputian and the Stepford communities.  But more importantly, Arizona Governor Jan Brewer had her hair done for the occasion which made her look even more like Bette Davis playing Baby Jane Hudson.

It was fascinating watching the GOP candidates pretend to know something about foreign policy — especially in trying to justify going to war with Iran.  Rick Santorum voiced his opinions on foreign policy largely by parroting whatever the other dim-bulbs said, then following-it-up with his own remarks, using random jumbles of words that closely resembled sentences.   All four beauty contestants were in agreement that Iran’s President Ahmadinejad should not be permitted to close the Straights of the Moose.  Only Rick Santorum spoke-up about his approval of closing the ‘Gays of the Moose.’  Mitt Romney attempted to gin-up the argument speculating that Iran will detonate a nuclear bomb if Barack Obama is reelected president (read into that the same fear tactics the Bush Administration deployed about Saddam Hussein and his supposed weapons of mass destruction…)  Three out of four of the candidates, Mitt, Rick and Newt were all very congenial in their disdain for each other, while bantering about the subject of miring us in another endless, costly war in the Middle East.  Ron Paul was actually the only one who made sense on that issue.  Perhaps he was having a mini-stroke?

Education was summarily dismissed by all the candidates as best described by ‘leaving all children behind’ to be home-schooled by parents who themselves don’t read or write.  Santorum had his soiled-panties handed to him on a platter when Mitt Romney leveled “responsibility” for Obamney Care placing it squarely on Santorum’s shoulders for supporting Arlen Specter during the 2010 midterms thus clearing the way for Sen Pat Toomey (R-PA) to unseat Specter and in-turn brake ranks with Republicans by casting the decisive vote in favor of Health Care Reform.  (BTW – Quite possibly the only thing Toomey has ever done right, and it all boils down to being Santorum’s fault…)  Delicious.

All the GOP candidate’s were back to pandering to the Arizona mind-set with the absurd project of building a ‘Great Wall of China’ between the United States and Mexico and further demonizing Hispanics.  Mitt Romney adding his own personal commitment to strictly employ the use of eVerify when hiring illegal aliens to manicure the grounds of his multiple mansions and estates.  Speaking in code, the fab-4 also approved of invading women’s crotches as a matter of mandating their own religious “convictions” justifying groin invasions an an effort to “protect” religious freedoms — but protecting only the rights and religions approved by the Conservative Sink Tank.  Photographs of these procedures will be made available online to members of the church-like Republican boys dormitory known as the ‘House on C-Street.’

Newt Gingrich was in fine blowhard-form playing the role of elder statesman but appeared more toned-down than in previously rabid performances — perhaps because Newt’s own personal sugar-daddy, Sheldon Adelson is now providing BOTH Newt Gingrich AND Mitt Romney with SuperPAC monies:  Hence Mitt and Newt were forced to play nice-nice together through gritted teeth and thinly veiled disdain.

All in all it was another dull, uninteresting, uninformative, waist of air-time lacking ideas and imagination — and I expected nothing less.  It would appear after drawing straws, that Mitt Romney won the debate — but how difficult can that be when you’re shooting 3 dead fish in a barrel?  Even in victory, Mitt came across as ‘small,’ peculiar and disconnected.  When asked about his the public’s greatest misconception about him, Mitt Romney answered, “That I trim my own sideburns.”  In that spirit I offer the following Haiku:

I like to fire people.

The trees are the right height…

Worry not of the poor.

12 thoughts on “Mitt Romney Dwarfed by Bonsai Tree In Empty Room of Lilliputians

  1. After reading your insightful summary of the non-event I can truthfully say I’m really, really glad I did not turn in. I watched the NBA instead.

    • Was Jeremy Lin playing? All of the sudden Knicks games are hot property on TV when the cable companies are cooperating. (New Yorkers have been shut-out from watching their own team due to contract disputes.) I’m sure that doesn’t extend to Florida even though it’s known as New York South.

  2. your stomach is much stronger than mine, beihl. i couldn’t watch it.

    if republican males can just keep their gals barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen, those sweet little things won’t keep nosing around in politics where they don’t belong or taking jobs that should rightfully go to big, strong men.

    • I had to switch back to Rachael Maddow during commercial breaks so I could calm-down and breathe. What upsets me even MORE than the knuckleheads play-acting as candidates, is what stirs the people in attendance to applaud. If it’s invading some else’s rights or declaring war or beating-up on minorities and the poor — the more the “Christians” in the audience applauded. So VERY “Ash Wednesday” of them…

      • And yet people still ask WHY I quit being a Christian the very day I learned to think for myself. I have to tell them it boils down to being lazy. I just lack the energy and enthusiasm to hate so many people I don’t even know.

          • Romney was first in line to sign Cut, Cap and Balance. He’s been calling for such pilecios since his book came out. (See Closer To Home’s eloquent summation on this thread)As CraigS summarized earlier on this thread, and which many of us did so last week as well, the 2012ers don’t need to be popping off on this issue, since it was in constant flux.Romney didn’t support the Boehner Plan last week, he applauded Boehner for holding firm on raising taxes. That is different thing entirely, but some Romnots are to0 obtuse to get that.Nobody likes this bill and even those elected officials who have to vote for it, I doubt really like it. So what do we have?Romney staking out his positions in his book, committing to them by signing the CCB pledge.He issues a supportive statement for not raising taxes in a lousy economy.He’s avoided looking like a fool for commenting on negotiations he didn’t have all the info on.He issued a statement he’s disappointed in the bill, forced on us, because the President failed to lead on the issue.I think he played it straight and perfect. If he injected himeslf anyother way in to the debate it would have backfired on him.

        • I can see the reason for the asnucatiocs of finger in the wind, heck yes. On the surface, it’s a fair reading. Coming out after it’s too late in order to pander to the tea partiers.But until today, NO ONE knew what was in the final version–not even Boehner knew what the democrats would insert. Boehner did the best he could, under the circumstances.Is it possible that when Romney saw the final bill–with the defense cuts, and the possibility for new taxes that he simply could not support it?Since none of us know, it’s hard to say what the truth is. Only Romney knows. I’m inclined to give the benefit of the doubt because over the years he’s won my trust. I realize a lot of people don’t see him the way I do.In the end, Romney’s decision today doesn’t sway me, or even really disappoint. Especially in light of the alternatives. Flawed of not, Romney is all we have. Maybe Pawlenty, but he’s going nowhere fast. Other than these 2, tell me who on earth can win or do the job.-Martha

  3. Lilliputian, indeed—Swift would have a field day with this Republican silly season. Forget about the absurdity of building a Great Wall of China on our southern border; doesn’t anyone remember that the Great Wall cost a fortune and never worked? The trans-border hordes were always bribing the gatekeepers and getting through anyway. (It’s also amusing, in the abstract, to see self-proclaimed free market folks grind their mental gears arguing against the free flow of labor.)

    Rachel was right months ago: the only real question is when Newt will bow out of the race to sell another book and collect lecture honoraria. Republicans, you can choose between a candidate who wants theocracy or a candidate who wants corporate kleptocracy. How pathetic.

    • he ” personally ” can’t rsppout it. Well, this bill only raises the debt $ 7 TRILLION over 10 years instead of $ 10 TRILLION. So, we have saved $ 3 TRILLION….mainly by ending wars we haven’t yet started and threatening to cap programs in the future that Harry Reid can table anyway. Frankly, this bill smells and it will stink up the entire 2012 campaign. It will do NOTHING to avoid Downgrading and it will do NOTHING about the major sources of our debt. Romney is pretty smart. I would have been stunned if he endorsed this piece of legislative crap ginned up in OZ. Watch the market. they will tell you how wonderful this bill is CraigS CraigS

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