Extra-terrestrial Conservative Candidate, Rick Santorum is Incubating a Satanic Fetus Inside His Brain

Whether you agree with him or not, Rick Santorum has been much-touted and praised for his apparent sincerity.  What I’m left wondering is whether or not ‘sincerely insane’ counts as a positive characteristic to likely voters in a general election?  I’ve got a news-scoop for the National Inquirer’s headlines department:

“Extra-terrestrial Conservative Candidate Incubating Satanic Fetus in Brain.”

Santorum is crazy. Scary, ideologically bat-shit crazy.  His meander-thal little mind is all over the place.  Here in Santorum’s own words: “The left is always looking for a way to control you.  They’re always looking for a way to make you feel guilty so you’ll give them power so they can lord it over you.”  With those words Santorum gives himself away as having no personal understanding of his own tactics.  He’s the one who’s trying to control people – tapping into deep-rooted cultural religious fears and guilt.  Santorum’s a master manipulator who accuses other people of doing what he subconsciously (self-describes) himself as doing.  You don’t hear sane people saying America needs to be defined as a “Christian nation” to the exclusion of all other faiths knowing full-well the United States was founded on the premise of religious freedom.  That’s Santorum trying to control you.  You don’t hear sane people dictating who other people are allowed to love — or what women are permitted to do concerning the care and governance of their own bodies.  That’s more of Santorum trying to control you.  Santorum is like a space alien who was dropped onto planet earth with a limited vocabulary and a screw loose.

Speaking of planet earth, Rick Santorum doesn’t believe in conserving or protecting the integrity of our natural resources be it air, water or land.  He shortsightedly believes those things are gifts from God for mankind to exploit at will for short-term profits.  So, if we muck it all up — does he think God will replenish us with more natural resources to squander?  The man sees no further than the end of his nose and mistakes it as a vision for the future.

Now is a time in history when the entire world is still reeling from natural and man-made disasters unleashing nuclear waste-material and petrol-chemicals into the environment — and Santorum argues on behalf of developing more filthy energy.  He denies climate change as a fraudulent conspiracy and believes Darwinism should be shunned in favor of religious “creationism.”  He thinks creationism should be taught in schools even as he rants and raves about federally de-funding education.  This man represents ignorance to the extreme and wants everyone else to jump into his mud-puddle with him.  We barely survived 8 years of ‘stupid’ under George W. Bush — let’s learn our history lessons people, and vote in 2012 to keep all neocons from obtaining as little power as possible.  The Republican Party itself is vaguely embarrassed by Rick Santorum — but they can’t bring themselves to get behind any of the other hopefuls left standing either — hence the mutterings in the wind of a ‘brokered convention.’  Perhaps that brokered convention should be held at a lunatic asylum in lock-down?

Mitt Romney (no dream-candidate himself) is looking wild-eyed frantic with desperation as his chances evaporate.  Mitt’s shoe-in for the GOP candidacy is looking less than certain while Santorum rises in the polls.  Worry not, Mitt’s mysterious SuperPAC billions will release a treasure trove of vicious ads against Santorum — there’s a lot of material to draw-from…  So if none of the contenders pass muster, at least a brokered convention would be more honest than the way Republicans have been ‘fixing’ their own primary results — case-in-point — what we witnessed in Maine, while awarded to Romney, in all probability actually went to Ron Paul because of lost and missing ballots.  (Where have we heard that before…?)  There’s some comfort in knowing the figures indicate record low turnouts in all the Republican primaries — drawing the logical conclusion that none of the GOP contenders speak with a unifying voice for the party.  That said, Santorum has a 10 point lead over Romney in most national polls.  If Santorum speaks for the GOP, then he’s speaking in tongues.  What’s next?  Snake-handling?

Rick Santorum was my senator here in Pennsylvania for a mind-numbing decade.  I’ve watched and listened to the man for a long time, and he is simply put – unwell.  As the world changes and grows for better or worse, strict adherence to fundamentalist ANYTHING makes for frightening confusion and inflexibility as we face an unforeseeable future.  Just imagine if you convinced Rick Santorum ‘The Lord of the Rings’ was a strict translation of the Dead Sea Scrolls, he’d most likely fall for it, and have us all worshiping the Gospel According to Frodo Baggins.  Come to think of it, that might be an improvement…

In summation:  If you favor governmental over-reach right into mandating what goes-on in-between your legs…  If you want your environment jeopardized for short-term profits and long term catastrophe…  If you’re more comfortable with stupid than smart…  If you feel nostalgic for the bad old days of the 11th century, then Rick Santorum is your man.

More embarrassments from Rick Santorum can be found at the following link:  http://santorumexposed.com/

12 thoughts on “Extra-terrestrial Conservative Candidate, Rick Santorum is Incubating a Satanic Fetus Inside His Brain

      • First, I am shocked that Santorum did so well last night. Especially in Colorado and Minnesota. Correct me if I am wrong, but I never hhtugot of those two states having that many Evangelical voters. Missouri, does not surprise me, but no delegates were won last night in that state.I still think that Romney has the best shot at beating Obama. Romney should win all the New England states, Utah, New York, California, Pacific Northwestern states, and the Potomac states. Santorum concerns me with some of his religious views. Now, I am not attacking his beliefs. But I am a Libertarian Conservative more than a true Republican on most issues. So therefore, I am a little uneasy if someone from the religious right wins the nomination. Abortion and gay marriage are not my main concerns and I feel that if society is that offended by them, leave it up to the states to decide. Also, if abortion did not exist, keep in mind that crime would go up and more social services would be needed. Lastly. Considering the changing racial demographics of the US, especially the fast growing Latino population, I feel that someone like Romney would be more likely to win more of their votes than someone like Santorum or Gingrich. But maybe, I am wrong.

  1. i would love to hear a diagnosis from a mental health professional of what santorum’s particular pathology is. that sort of projecting on democrats is typical of folks with personality disorders. “i’ll accuse you of doing what i’m doing to you!”

    • Santorum is the classic zealot who never looks very deeply into anything or so much as hears the voice of different opinions. I think he’ll eventually have a meltdown, and I certainly don’t want him in a position of power when it happens. Diagnosis: Bat-shit crazy.

  2. Diagnosis” Bat-$#!T crazy, and has been for decades.
    You know, I’ve tried to make a life out of being insane, telling people I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it, and that in my house we invite insanity in, give it a drink and feel it up. I am going to have to stop that, because Ricky Sticky Daffy is making insane no longer fun.

    • The Reason Rally is free. We’ll gather on the mall to lteisn to talks, music and comedy from nationally and internationally recognized leaders in the atheist/humanist/freethought movement (and possibly one or more surprise speakers) and get a chance to meet and network with like-minded individuals from other states and countries. There are also opportunities on Friday for lobbying your congressional representatives on Church & State separation issues and in the afternoon and evening a chance to get socialize and make signs and buttons for the rally on Saturday (check elsewhere on the forum for links to details on those events). As of this posting, the speaker schedule is not out yet. Probably because the speaker list continues to grow. Tim Minchin was added about a week ago and Adam Savage from MythBusters was announced yesterday.

    • I can think of many a ‘prominent Republican senator’ who I would dcibrsee as a moron RINO squish.Scott BrownThad CochranSusan CollinsRichard LugarJohn McCainLisa MurkowskiOlympia SnowDo I think any of the above would want Jeb Bush to run?No way.Do I think any of the above would throw Jeb Bush’s name out there to get conservatives on board with the idea of a brokered convention? Absolutely.When I think of brokered conventions, I think of the process that produced Dede Scozzafava.I’d rather go with what we have, as imperfect as it may be, than let the men in the smoke filled room do on a national scale what they did in NY-23.

      • Everyone needs to take a deep breath and get over it. You don’t get to the coiche you want, you get the coiche you get. I am really sick of everyone quoting Regan. Great man. Great President (even with the flaws). And a once in a lifetime leader. Romney is going to win the nomination unless the hand of God comes down and swoops him up. Not likely.This guy has worked for what, six years for the nomination? He knows darn well that he will be expected to do something about Obamacare, Dodd-Frank, Bail-outs, the deficit, etc., etc. etc. He’s also smart enough to know if he doesn’t get something done, he will have worked so long, so hard and spent so much money to be a one term president. I think he is smarter than that.At least he understands how business works,and he obviously understands how to make money. The rest he will have to learn. Money is the root of all our problems and we need to fix that or kiss it all goodbye.And no, I’m not an anyone but Obama guy. I really do think Romney will work out and will be a darn sight better than what we current are enjoying.

        • I believe very strongly that electing the Romney/Ryan ticket would be the last straw leading to the complete downfall of the country. Neither have the humanity to be fair or effective leaders.

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