Governor Goodhair & the Rise of the 4th Reich

If any political leader censors the press and forces theatrical productions to cease performances, while holding the single highest national head-count for human executions, then you know there’s gonna be a little signature forelock of hair falling down across his forehead.

Rick Perry’s goal is to one day be advertised on cable AdNet TV featured in a boxed set of DVD’s chronicling his atrocities for only $14.95 – AND – if you act now you’ll also get Hitler’s Greatest Hits including the Yodeling Milkmaids and every single unedited episode of the Lawrence Welk Show.  Just dial the number at the bottom of your screen to order ‘Governor Goodhair & the Rise of the 4th Reich.’  AND if you call right now we’ll throw in ‘The Complete Rick Perry Hair Care Kit’ plus a free round of ammunition just so long as you’re white and luv Jezus.

But wait, if you order this genuine leather-faced home-grown Texas bull-pucky RIGHT NOW you’ll also get your social security and medicare taken away and replaced with a SECOND hair-care kit FOR FREE…!!!  Why worry?  Your fate will be in the hands of Governor Perry’s sponsors and overlords:  AT&T;, Bank of America, ExxonMobil, the Koch brothers, T. Boone Pickens, Harold Simmons, Time Warner, Valero Energy, Grover Norquist, and Wal-Mart, just to name a few.  

You can’t pass-up a deal like this!!!  

Just Pickins’-up yer phone right now y’hear and dial 666-666-6666 for a dream come-true realization of the final apocalyptic vision first brought to you by the Bush Administration – just like you remembered it, only worse…  Rapture, smapture – Just think, now you can get Dick Cheney’s soul packaged to look like Josh Brolin playing a film role as George W. Bush all for one low price –   Your soul.

But there’s more…

Have you been worried about the variety of religions, races, ethnicity’s and sexual-diversities on the rise in this county?  Well, if you answered “yes” then fear no more, ’cause Teaxass Governor, Rick Perry will deliver our nation into one state-mandated religion, thus ending pesky religious strife just like the Constitution sez it should.  If elected Rick Perry will further end all problems (I MEAN programs) benefiting peoples of non-white racial, ethnic or national origin by “distilling” America into one race, religion and creed (by mysteriously effective and secretive means – most likely a Black & Decker wood-chipper – oops – secret’s out.)  

But what will be in it’s place I hear you ask?  Why Worship of the almighty devaluating dollar in all it’s forms in the name of our Lord Jezus Christ who’s image will magically appear on all forms currency.

Just think…

$14.95 plus shipping and handling, and you’ll get you one gen-u-ine leather-faced, red-necked cowboy-closet-queen with 1980’s hair, a scandalous past and a swaggering attitude.  An attitude that says “I don’t know what I’m doing, and neither should you” which is why you need to cast your one and only precious vote for the white dude who can barely form whole sentences unless they’re death sentences.

Sound familiar?  Why there’s more:

If your IQ is less than half the lower number of your blood-pressure or your credit score – whichever’s worse – and you believe in your heart it’s someone else’s fault – then pull a Repbulican’t Tea Party lever for Rick Perry on Tuesday, November 6th, 2012  and say goodbye to what little you have left and hold dear.

This ad was brought to you by your local chapter of the Duck D. Duck for President Campaign (DuckPAC) and the Long Island Ice Tea Party (LIITP) c/o the Pond, Somewhere in Texas.  

Remembering Grandma Betty’s 91st Birthday.

I was in a Greek restaurant one day with my late mother, Grandma Betty, when the waitress said to us, “You two are so cute, you’re like something from and old movie.”  To which I replied “Yeah, Norman Bates and ‘Mother’.”

Betty chimed-in sitting her self-imposed wheelchair, “Oh I LOVED Judy Garland in that picture, especially when she accepted the Oscar at the end and said I’m Mrs Norman Bates’.”  Betty went on to say how that scene had made her cry.  I of course was crying with laughter at this point with my head down on the table, as clearly, Grandma Betty had confused ‘Psycho’ with ‘A Star Is Born.’  Judy Garland, who played Mrs Norman MAINE would have made a very odd fit in a musical version of  ‘Psycho.’  But then again, Grandma Betty thought Brooke Shields starred in ‘Creature From the Black Lagoon.’

Betty was never wrong, and would argue with the devil himself.  If Grandma Betty said it was Daylight Savings Time 3 weeks prior to the actual date, we all lived an hour later or an hour earlier until the rest of the world caught-up with us.

I’m remembering Grandma Betty’s 91st birthday today a day late this year (I’ve had computer troubles) with a reprise of one of her exchanges with Winnie.  Here’s to remembering and missing Grandma Betty.

Happy belated birthday, Grandma Betty…
wherever you are…

Indiscretion, thy name is Cantor

When the words “congress” and “indiscretion” appear in the same sentence, one pictures a republican right-wing homophobic neo-con having “congress” in a toilet-stall in the men’s room of some airport somewhere, and then lying about it in desparation.

Not all indiscretions are sexual, anymore than having congress with a member of Congress is appealing to anyone who isn’t in the market for making blackmail money.  Can you imaging having “congress” with Mitch McConnell?  

No, neither can I… 

But if “discretion is the better part of valor” then INDISCRETION is the better part of candor…   Better make that Cantor.  Eric Cantor to be specific.

According to Webster’s New World Dictionary this is the first definition ofdiscretion:’ 

dis·cre·tion – noun dis-kre-shən 1 : the quality of having or showing discernment or good judgement. 

Is it good judgement to remain stalwart in your convictions that out-dated nuclear power-plants should be exempt from regulations or updating and  government control when (as House Majority Leader) your OWN district was recently been hit by a 5.8 earthquake damaging a nuclear power plant 30 miles from your own family’s home?  Sounds pretty indiscreet to me based on definition number one.  

Here’s another example:  Is is also indiscretion if your own state’s coastline is decimated less than a week after an earthquake by a hurricane of unprecedented proportions? (both in size and destruction) only to tell your constituents that hurricane relief will not be forthcoming unless offset by entitlement spending cuts?  Welcome to the deadly world of Cantor-bury tales which could well bury us all.

Eric Cantor’s heartless and illogical stupidity might be vaguely understandable if the man weren’t in the hip-pocket of the  Koch brother’s and hoarding a multi-million dollar political war-chest funded by Goldman Sacs and the criminals running the mining industry.  You know… remember last year’s mining disasters due to improper government oversight implimented by the Bush misadministration ?  Yeah, those guys.  Cantor’s  warped worldview might be mildly tolerable if he wasn’t fighting tooth and nail to prevent tax increases on the wealthiest Americans who’ve benefited from our national economic downturn.  In short, Eric Cantor is the heir apparent to Dick Cheney – which is not anything to recommend a person by my lights.

Perhaps Eric Cantor’s indiscretions are not of a sexual nature (as we’re aware of yet) but who knows what illness is inbred by power?  That said, based on Webster’s definition number ONE – Indiscretion, thy name is Cantor.